Slayer: Bram Stoker's Ghey Leage of People Who Don't Like Dracula (BSGLOPWDLD)
Occupation: Being Victorian. Being Ghey. Being homo-erotic.
Weapons: 'Dr Van Hellsing's old-school patent vampire-slaying kit'. Large hammer, 1 Wooden stakes (classic finish), several Garlic, 6 of whatever the internationally agreed units of garlic measurement might happen to be Crafty coffin-opening device, 1 Silver crusifix, 2 Handy lawyer, for rifling personal papers, gaining entrance to private property and lying to coroners about sudden deaths of 90% of secondary charecters. Large guns, for dispatching pesky gypsies, 5
Strengths: Numbers significantly in their favour, even with Angel's full complement of minions. Miriglum: But then, didn't Angel still not have a soul, back in the day? Plus, he had Darla (deadly killing hair) and Drusila (crazy weasel). Also, let's say Spike (pretty but useless) too, 'cause he's all shiny. In which case, they'd have all been like - bite, bite, bite - ugh, Dr Van Hellsing tastes funny - bite. Yum. Amy the wench: No, I'm sure he was in his 'useless roaming Angel' stage.
Weaknesses: Largly too busy being Fraudian and worriting over their latent sexuality to put togeather much of deadly killing front.
Notes: Considering it took them an entire book to kill Dracula, who was, frankly, quite useless, can't see they have much chance agaist the super Angel.
Outcome: Angel feeds them all to Ninawolf, who turns out to be European-intolerent and gets food poisoning and dies. Cordy sells off individual pieces of BSGLOPWDLD's anti-vampire kit to disaffected vampire-worshipping Goth kids. The proceeds go into Connor's college fund.
Disclaimer: let it be recorded, we Amy the wench and Miriglum, had no part in the creation of the following deathmatch, knowing it to be wrong and disturbing, and the work of a twisted mind...
Slayer(s): Merry and Pippin
Occupation: Hobbit slayers of middle-earth. Amy the wench: Yep. 'Cause they were just *over-run*, weren't they?!
Weapons: The One True Ring and/or the Horn of Gondor
Strengths: Small and cute. Experiance of questing. Some singing talent.
Weaknesses: Handy, snack-size vampire treats. Limited experiance slaying actual vampires. Would have to stand on each other's shoulders to stake Angel through heart.
Notes: Matching waistcoats may provide crucial assistance.
Outcome: Their overwhelming cuteness means that Angel and company just can't bring themselves to hurt them. Merry and Pippin end up joining the ranks of Gunn's "crew" and they and all their hobbit homies take on the task of keeping the dodgier areas of LA safe for drug dealers and street walkers while Angel is otherwise occupied brooding/kicking doors/shagging Spike.
no subject
Occupation: Being Victorian. Being Ghey. Being homo-erotic.
Weapons: 'Dr Van Hellsing's old-school patent vampire-slaying kit'.
Large hammer, 1
Wooden stakes (classic finish), several
Garlic, 6 of whatever the internationally agreed units of garlic measurement might happen to be
Crafty coffin-opening device, 1
Silver crusifix, 2
Handy lawyer, for rifling personal papers, gaining entrance to private property and lying to coroners about sudden deaths of 90% of secondary charecters.
Large guns, for dispatching pesky gypsies, 5
Strengths: Numbers significantly in their favour, even with Angel's full complement of minions.
Miriglum: But then, didn't Angel still not have a soul, back in the day? Plus, he had Darla (deadly killing hair) and Drusila (crazy weasel). Also, let's say Spike (pretty but useless) too, 'cause he's all shiny. In which case, they'd have all been like - bite, bite, bite - ugh, Dr Van Hellsing tastes funny - bite. Yum.
Amy the wench: No, I'm sure he was in his 'useless roaming Angel' stage.
Weaknesses: Largly too busy being Fraudian and worriting over their latent sexuality to put togeather much of deadly killing front.
Notes: Considering it took them an entire book to kill Dracula, who was, frankly, quite useless, can't see they have much chance agaist the super Angel.
Outcome: Angel feeds them all to Ninawolf, who turns out to be
European-intolerent and gets food poisoning and dies. Cordy sells off individual pieces of BSGLOPWDLD's anti-vampire kit to disaffected vampire-worshipping Goth kids. The proceeds go into Connor's college fund.
Disclaimer: let it be recorded, we Amy the wench and Miriglum, had no part in the creation of the following deathmatch, knowing it to be wrong and disturbing, and the work of a twisted mind...
Slayer(s): Merry and Pippin
Occupation: Hobbit slayers of middle-earth.
Amy the wench: Yep. 'Cause they were just *over-run*, weren't they?!
Weapons: The One True Ring and/or the Horn of Gondor
Strengths: Small and cute. Experiance of questing. Some singing talent.
Weaknesses: Handy, snack-size vampire treats. Limited experiance slaying actual vampires. Would have to stand on each other's shoulders to stake Angel through heart.
Notes: Matching waistcoats may provide crucial assistance.
Outcome: Their overwhelming cuteness means that Angel and company just can't bring themselves to hurt them. Merry and Pippin end up joining the ranks of Gunn's "crew" and they and all their hobbit homies take on the task of keeping the dodgier areas of LA safe for drug dealers and street walkers while Angel is otherwise occupied brooding/kicking doors/shagging Spike.