froodle: (bitch)
im just getting round to watching the third season of the originals amd im really confused by it. why is cami working as a criminal minds type profiler for the new oreleans police? and what is a part time shrink? i thought she was a student - did she qualify? why is the nopd calling her to analhse crime scenes if shes not a qualified... thingie? when did vincent stop being finn? and why are thenew oreleans wotches being mean to davina when she saved everyone and defeated all the bads? hayley has the crescent curse now? and theres an originals version of shitty enzo being shitty? what? i dont understand anything!
froodle: (pony)
could that actress playing davina be more ridiculously beautiful? originals/tvd is hardly short on eye candy, but every time she shows up it's like, oh COME ON, no human is that lovely! she's not even trip-over-your-own-feet levels of gorgeous; I just look at her and im like, thats a painting, thats not a living person, knock it off. seriously. insanely beautiful.

on a related note, damn you, originals fandom. wheres my klaus/elijah/rebekah porn at? get on it, internets.
froodle: (Default)
...there's a Stefan doppleganger now? Gross.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
awww man, kol dies? sour times, my friends. i loved kol, he was so cheeky and so completely devoid of any fucks to give. plus the hair. easily the best hair of all the original vampires.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
...oh, never mind, Caroline just killed her. To save Bonnie, of all people. Ugh.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Oh hey, Naevia 2 is in the Vampire Diaries!


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
WHAT THE FUCK JEREMY.
JEREMY WHAT THE FUCK.
DON'T YOU DARE BE DEAD.
STOP DECOMPOSING RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE EMO PRICK.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Aww damn it. I was totally loving how much Tyler has grown into himself this year, and that silly werewolf bitch just ruined it by having Klaus slaughter his entire pack. Between that and Jammy the Emu retreading the whole Evilaric plot from last season, I'm calling bullshit on all of series four.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Also, I am now totally holding out for a Caroline/Hayley/Tyler threesome. Actually, just plain old Caroline/Hayley would be fine too. Tyler can like, play video games or something.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
...did Damon just prank Elena into giving him the vampire equivalent of a blowjob? Because that's kind of shiOH MY GOD ALARIC HI ALARIC I LOVE YOU!


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
The problem with Tigerland porn is that most of the people who write it get all inspired about the fact that the movie is this perfect epic masterpiece of pure beauty, and set out to write these amazing in-depth stories full of meaning and wonder, and I just want to read about Colin Farrell and Alaric having crazy post-Vietnam survivor!sex and I don't want to read fifty thousand words of character-driven authentic world-building blah-blah-blah things that are not porn. Basically, Tigerland fandom is not shallow enough, and it makes me sad.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Oh my fucking God, Tigerland, you break my fucking heart! Oh! Oh Colin Farrell! Oh Alaric! Oh the world!

I had this whole sarcastic post planned about how, if Colin Farrell had been Alaric's vampire boyfriend instead of Damon, Alaric would have survived the events of season three but would have killed himself anyway because vampire!Colin Farrell would mean he'd gotten stuck in that shitty Fright Night remake and death would be preferable, but I don't have it in me to get bitchy now because OH MY GOD THE BITTERSWEET SADNESS OF THAT ENDING! I actually have sadness in my very arms, it is so sad! Oh!


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Alaric dies? ALARIC DIES?! What is this bullshit? Is he forever-dead? This is terrible! This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of human events.

Seriously guys, Alaric died?! Really?! No!!


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
I am watching the Vampire Diaries. Basically what is happening is, Jammy the Emu was sad because Bonnie and her horrible face don't like him anymore, and Elena and Alaric were worried because, omg, who would be upset at the prospect of LESS BONNIE, and so Jammy and Mongo were hanging out and having beautiful love, but then Klaus decided to interfere with the power of BEING A STUPID COCKY DICKCOCK and then Alaric got run over and was nearly dead, but it's okay because Damon saved him with his SUPER MULLET VAMPIRE POWERS but basically Jammy has left town because his Emuness has spread to his lungs and soon he will drown in a pile of skin-tight jeans and stupid white belts if he doesn't get away from Mystic Falls, and Caroline wasn't in this episode and Stefan was, so basically that sucked.
froodle: (Default)
I am watching the Vampire Diaries. Basically what is happening is, Jammy the Emu was sad because Bonnie and her horrible face don't like him anymore, and Elena and Alaric were worried because, omg, who would be upset at the prospect of LESS BONNIE, and so Jammy and Mongo were hanging out and having beautiful love, but then Klaus decided to interfere with the power of BEING A STUPID COCKY DICKCOCK and then Alaric got run over and was nearly dead, but it's okay because Damon saved him with his SUPER MULLET VAMPIRE POWERS but basically Jammy has left town because his Emuness has spread to his lungs and soon he will drown in a pile of skin-tight jeans and stupid white belts if he doesn't get away from Mystic Falls, and Caroline wasn't in this episode and Stefan was, so basically that sucked.
froodle: (Default)
Random sex dream about Jammy and Mongo from the Vampire Diaries accompanied by soundtrack from Hairspray. This had made me fonder of Hairspray and yet at the same time more suspicious of Tyler. Werewolves shouldn't have sex to Hairspray. That's just not right.
froodle: (Default)
Random sex dream about Jammy and Mongo from the Vampire Diaries accompanied by soundtrack from Hairspray. This had made me fonder of Hairspray and yet at the same time more suspicious of Tyler. Werewolves shouldn't have sex to Hairspray. That's just not right.
froodle: (Default)
Remember that episode of the Simpsons where Homer has a pet lobster and he tries giving it a hot bath and accidently cooks it and at the end he's crying and eating the lobster at the same time and he's like, "PINCHY WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY!" and sobbing with a mouthful of Pinchy?

That's basically what I see whenever Stefan goes on a blood binge.
froodle: (Default)
Remember that episode of the Simpsons where Homer has a pet lobster and he tries giving it a hot bath and accidently cooks it and at the end he's crying and eating the lobster at the same time and he's like, "PINCHY WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY!" and sobbing with a mouthful of Pinchy?

That's basically what I see whenever Stefan goes on a blood binge.
froodle: (Default)
Why does Mystic Falls have all these awesome parties and balls and events and shit, even though it's a tiny town with one bar/resturant where basically the entire population goes to socialize? I grew up in a small town, we didn't have epic decade dances and comet-watching parties. I want to wear a poodle skirt and flirt with a stern hot history teacher! Real life sucks, reality should try to be more like made-up TV land.

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