Fic ideas

Aug. 25th, 2015 06:42 am
froodle: (pony)
Sunday night we had this incredibly gross muggy heat that basically made sleep impossible, and Monday morning I felt so much like headachey, nauseated ass that even a shower couldn't make me human again and I ended up calling in sick to work.

Long story short, I spent most of the day napping on the sofa, writing Eerie ficlets, and drinking hot chocolate while Hocus Pocus and Trick 'r Treat played in the background.

And now I want a story where Danielle and Laurie from Trick 'r Treat are Mister Chaney's nieces, and he's all about tradition so he's super disapproving of the fact that they (and also I reckon their mum, who is Mr. C's free-wheeling big sister and the first one in the fam to break with tradition) have joined Lupa, an all-female werewolf pack, and IDK, maybe Danielle and Laurie are road-tripping with Janet and Marie around Halloween, and they end up in Eerie, and also I think secretly there are unicorns in Eerie and unicorns and werewolves are enemies, and then they fight or something. IDK. Basically I want fic about Laurie and Danielle, is what I am saying.

Also, you know how EI:the Other Dimension had Stanley and... someone else, and they were essentially that reality's version of Simon and Mars? I think Max, Dannie and Binx were the Mars, Simon and Dash of yet another reality, the one Hocus Pocus is set in. Like, these three, or versions of them, exist again and again throughout the multiverse, and they're a floodgate to keep the tides of weirdness at bay.

So, those are some thoughts that I have. Basically, I want more stories, all the stories, forever.
froodle: (Default)
Ugh. Just wasted valuable energy getting all excited about the "new" season of True Blood coming to FX, only to realise that by "new" they mean "shitty fourth season that everyone's already seen and which was rubbish anyway because nobody cares about fairies and witches and stupid Eric with his stupid amnesia and a stupid storyline about Andy getting addicted to V and the whole thing not being solved by the power of Sookie and Jason's beautiful love for each other." Yes, I just ruined True Blood for a bunch of you, OH WELL.

Was going to go for a walk after tea, but it's dark and windy and cold and I don't wanna and I'm going to bed to watch Trick 'r Treat and wish there was an ENTIRE SERIES based around the concept of Anna Paquin in a sexy Red Riding Hood costume eating dudes and doing strip-teases. I think that should be the plot of True Blood season five.
froodle: (Default)
Ugh. Just wasted valuable energy getting all excited about the "new" season of True Blood coming to FX, only to realise that by "new" they mean "shitty fourth season that everyone's already seen and which was rubbish anyway because nobody cares about fairies and witches and stupid Eric with his stupid amnesia and a stupid storyline about Andy getting addicted to V and the whole thing not being solved by the power of Sookie and Jason's beautiful love for each other." Yes, I just ruined True Blood for a bunch of you, OH WELL.

Was going to go for a walk after tea, but it's dark and windy and cold and I don't wanna and I'm going to bed to watch Trick 'r Treat and wish there was an ENTIRE SERIES based around the concept of Anna Paquin in a sexy Red Riding Hood costume eating dudes and doing strip-teases. I think that should be the plot of True Blood season five.
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, I just got back from seeing Red Riding Hood, and oh my God, it sucked a giant donkey schlong all over the place.

The heroine was like... okay, imagine if Scarlett Johansen was in a terrible accident, languished in a coma for years so that most of her looks wasted away, then woke up with massive brain damage and thusly was convinced to star in this piece of shit. Oh, she was awful, I would say she simpered but frankly I suspect such a thing was beyond this appalling actress whose name I cannot be bothered to look up.

Gary Oldman was fucking shameful - chewing so much scenery I'm surprised there was enough of a set remaining to shoot this poor excuse for a film on. I think someone should just euthanize Gary Oldman at this point - every time he's in a movie he embarrasses humanity with his failure.

The main love interest guy was the lovechild of Edward Cullen and Joaquin Phoenix, and I totally don't mean that as a good thing. I mean he was pasty, had a cubeshaped head and a face that was totally flat when seen in profile, had a stupid froofy haircut and thinks that sneering is an appropriate substitute for being able to portray emotion.

The lame CGI wolf was totally lame - it looked like a snaggle-toothed housecat. In fact, it looked exactly like my brother's cat, Tazzy, who is not scary at all and drools when he purrs.

Daniel Jackson and Colonel Tigh were in it too - Daniel Jackson was trying to be manly and failing, and Tigh was being drunk and yelling at dudes, which in fairness he did quite well, but it's not exactly new territory for him.

There were some gingers who Gary Oldman thought were the werewolves, but OBVIOUSLY they turned out not to be because gingers do not have souls and according to Gary Oldman, you need to give up your soul to become a werewolf. See that, Gary Oldman? I'm better at finding werewolves than you just from using your own logic. What a tardbeast.

Oh, also there was some fucking stupid medieval orgy thing involving Three Little Piggy masks and basically the whole thing sucked from start to finish.

Lukas Haas was in it, and he was really very good, as much as he could be with the weight of everyone elses retardation dragging him down, but it made me sad for him because he deserved to be in some other, better film with people who could act.

I'm going to go watch Trick r Treat now and be a little bit in love with Anna Paquin. Laurie would fuck all those villagers and CGI Tazwolves up if she had the chance. You should all probably watch Trick r Treat too, then we can all be in love with Anna Paquin together.
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, I just got back from seeing Red Riding Hood, and oh my God, it sucked a giant donkey schlong all over the place.

The heroine was like... okay, imagine if Scarlett Johansen was in a terrible accident, languished in a coma for years so that most of her looks wasted away, then woke up with massive brain damage and thusly was convinced to star in this piece of shit. Oh, she was awful, I would say she simpered but frankly I suspect such a thing was beyond this appalling actress whose name I cannot be bothered to look up.

Gary Oldman was fucking shameful - chewing so much scenery I'm surprised there was enough of a set remaining to shoot this poor excuse for a film on. I think someone should just euthanize Gary Oldman at this point - every time he's in a movie he embarrasses humanity with his failure.

The main love interest guy was the lovechild of Edward Cullen and Joaquin Phoenix, and I totally don't mean that as a good thing. I mean he was pasty, had a cubeshaped head and a face that was totally flat when seen in profile, had a stupid froofy haircut and thinks that sneering is an appropriate substitute for being able to portray emotion.

The lame CGI wolf was totally lame - it looked like a snaggle-toothed housecat. In fact, it looked exactly like my brother's cat, Tazzy, who is not scary at all and drools when he purrs.

Daniel Jackson and Colonel Tigh were in it too - Daniel Jackson was trying to be manly and failing, and Tigh was being drunk and yelling at dudes, which in fairness he did quite well, but it's not exactly new territory for him.

There were some gingers who Gary Oldman thought were the werewolves, but OBVIOUSLY they turned out not to be because gingers do not have souls and according to Gary Oldman, you need to give up your soul to become a werewolf. See that, Gary Oldman? I'm better at finding werewolves than you just from using your own logic. What a tardbeast.

Oh, also there was some fucking stupid medieval orgy thing involving Three Little Piggy masks and basically the whole thing sucked from start to finish.

Lukas Haas was in it, and he was really very good, as much as he could be with the weight of everyone elses retardation dragging him down, but it made me sad for him because he deserved to be in some other, better film with people who could act.

I'm going to go watch Trick r Treat now and be a little bit in love with Anna Paquin. Laurie would fuck all those villagers and CGI Tazwolves up if she had the chance. You should all probably watch Trick r Treat too, then we can all be in love with Anna Paquin together.

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