froodle: (Default)
I hate it when the Faffing Hen is at home. I literally feel sick with anxiety whenever he's around. He's like this fountain of criticism and mean-spiritedness just bursting with spiteful comments. The last time he cornered me when I was alone, I was subjected to a forty-minute rant about how Buzz was both stupid and a traitor for going off to university. What makes his decision to pursue higher education a traitor? I don't know. Why is he stupid? Didn't get a satisfactory answer to that one either.

Today he caught me when I was making breakfast. Luckily I had the mixer going, so he couldn't make himself heard and had to give up after a few minutes, but he still managed to get in a few shots about the Prawn being lazy and unmotivated (this is a boy who has bought a house, is doing it up, and is working with elderly and disabled people on the side, by the way). Before that, it was how Johnny was a failed racer because he wouldn't go out on the TT course when it was wet, after he'd crashed twice the day before due to water on the track. Wow, stupid Johnny, not wanting to get killed or crippled just so the Hen can bask in his reflected glory. God knows what he says about me to the boys when my back is turned.

I was going to watch Star Trek today and bask in the awesomeness of William Shatner, but I'm too frightened to turn on the TV in case the noise draws him like an especially petty, sour-faced raptor. I really want to move out as soon as possible, but to finance it I'm going to need to take the first job that comes along, and I've done that twice in the past and ended up working in shitholes in a role way below my ability.

ETA: he's just driven off, probably to Port Erin to torment the Prawn while he's fixing doors at Lincluden. I might try and eat something now. Or go and cry for a bit. Hate him so much.
froodle: (Default)
I hate it when the Faffing Hen is at home. I literally feel sick with anxiety whenever he's around. He's like this fountain of criticism and mean-spiritedness just bursting with spiteful comments. The last time he cornered me when I was alone, I was subjected to a forty-minute rant about how Buzz was both stupid and a traitor for going off to university. What makes his decision to pursue higher education a traitor? I don't know. Why is he stupid? Didn't get a satisfactory answer to that one either.

Today he caught me when I was making breakfast. Luckily I had the mixer going, so he couldn't make himself heard and had to give up after a few minutes, but he still managed to get in a few shots about the Prawn being lazy and unmotivated (this is a boy who has bought a house, is doing it up, and is working with elderly and disabled people on the side, by the way). Before that, it was how Johnny was a failed racer because he wouldn't go out on the TT course when it was wet, after he'd crashed twice the day before due to water on the track. Wow, stupid Johnny, not wanting to get killed or crippled just so the Hen can bask in his reflected glory. God knows what he says about me to the boys when my back is turned.

I was going to watch Star Trek today and bask in the awesomeness of William Shatner, but I'm too frightened to turn on the TV in case the noise draws him like an especially petty, sour-faced raptor. I really want to move out as soon as possible, but to finance it I'm going to need to take the first job that comes along, and I've done that twice in the past and ended up working in shitholes in a role way below my ability.

ETA: he's just driven off, probably to Port Erin to torment the Prawn while he's fixing doors at Lincluden. I might try and eat something now. Or go and cry for a bit. Hate him so much.
froodle: (Default)
I went to see Fright Night yesterday. FAILED SO HARD, you guys. I think Colin Farrell and I are now on the path to major, final breakup. The dialogue wasn't funny or clever, the comedic timing was way off (and jesus, you have the Tenth Doctor, the star of In Bruges, and Red Mist all playing major roles, how do you get all three of them to somehow not be hilarious?) there was no plot to speak of and basically everyone was a complete window-licking dullard. Also, Jerry semephored that he was a vampire so hard, that even if you were the kind of person who automatically discounts "oh, he's a vampire" as an explanation for neighbour-based weirdness, you would still think he was a massive creeposaurus.

Also, Colin Farrell's vampire form was this massive fake-head thing that make him look like the kid from Battle Dib. Every time he turned into it, part of me was expecting him to start screaming "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNKKKK!" and beating Jailbait Chekov with an over-sized cotton wool bud. The only bits that raised a smile was whenever Jerry got really badly injured, he would do this weird "epilectic on meth" seizure dance thing.

At least it was only an hour and a half long. Even so, it felt like marathoning all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings back-to-back, except for the bit where Lord of the Rings was entertaining. What a waste of talent - in the time they used filming this piece of shit, Colin Farrell and David Tennant could have made one decent film each. That's two decent films that will never get made now. Red Mist and Jailbait Chekov could probably have made something less epicly retarded.

And yes, this is coming from someone who rates Lost Boys 3: the Thirst as a solid three out of five. Well done, Colin Farrell - you just rated lower than a straight-to-video Corey Feldman movie. You must be so proud.

There was a trailer for this new Hugh Jackman movie that appears to be about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. I do not understand. Tintin looks shit, the Puss in Boots movie looks superfluous, and for some reason Disney is showing the Lion King in 3D and marketing it as "for the first time ever!" Christ, just admit that you've run out of ideas, Disney. Paranormal Whatever 3 looks like an over-long cut of the Bloody Mary episode of Supernatural, and the new Sherlock Holmes movie looks alright.

In other news, I have been catching up on Carnivale - the creepiest thing about Evander Geddes isn't that he suffocates little kids with plaster of paris just so he can take casts of their death agonies - it's that bit where he explains to Ben that his objective is "to capture the soul". Because in Carnivale, that is TOTALLY FEASIBLE. Urgh!

I have been watching the Shield, too - thus far, I rate it "quite good." Possibly I will write more when I know people's names. So far all I know is CCH Pounder, who is in everything. She is a police lady. She does police things. Her partner is kind of a spaz, but is quite good at detectoring. There is a bald man. The bald man is basically in charge. He has three little friends who are like his Crime Army. There's another dude who I think is supposed to be in charge, but everyone hates him and likes the bald man best. The other dude is pretty sour about it. CCH Pounder and her spaz-detecting friend don't seem to care either way - they just like to detect stuff. I don't know. I might be wrong.
froodle: (Default)
I went to see Fright Night yesterday. FAILED SO HARD, you guys. I think Colin Farrell and I are now on the path to major, final breakup. The dialogue wasn't funny or clever, the comedic timing was way off (and jesus, you have the Tenth Doctor, the star of In Bruges, and Red Mist all playing major roles, how do you get all three of them to somehow not be hilarious?) there was no plot to speak of and basically everyone was a complete window-licking dullard. Also, Jerry semephored that he was a vampire so hard, that even if you were the kind of person who automatically discounts "oh, he's a vampire" as an explanation for neighbour-based weirdness, you would still think he was a massive creeposaurus.

Also, Colin Farrell's vampire form was this massive fake-head thing that make him look like the kid from Battle Dib. Every time he turned into it, part of me was expecting him to start screaming "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNKKKK!" and beating Jailbait Chekov with an over-sized cotton wool bud. The only bits that raised a smile was whenever Jerry got really badly injured, he would do this weird "epilectic on meth" seizure dance thing.

At least it was only an hour and a half long. Even so, it felt like marathoning all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings back-to-back, except for the bit where Lord of the Rings was entertaining. What a waste of talent - in the time they used filming this piece of shit, Colin Farrell and David Tennant could have made one decent film each. That's two decent films that will never get made now. Red Mist and Jailbait Chekov could probably have made something less epicly retarded.

And yes, this is coming from someone who rates Lost Boys 3: the Thirst as a solid three out of five. Well done, Colin Farrell - you just rated lower than a straight-to-video Corey Feldman movie. You must be so proud.

There was a trailer for this new Hugh Jackman movie that appears to be about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. I do not understand. Tintin looks shit, the Puss in Boots movie looks superfluous, and for some reason Disney is showing the Lion King in 3D and marketing it as "for the first time ever!" Christ, just admit that you've run out of ideas, Disney. Paranormal Whatever 3 looks like an over-long cut of the Bloody Mary episode of Supernatural, and the new Sherlock Holmes movie looks alright.

In other news, I have been catching up on Carnivale - the creepiest thing about Evander Geddes isn't that he suffocates little kids with plaster of paris just so he can take casts of their death agonies - it's that bit where he explains to Ben that his objective is "to capture the soul". Because in Carnivale, that is TOTALLY FEASIBLE. Urgh!

I have been watching the Shield, too - thus far, I rate it "quite good." Possibly I will write more when I know people's names. So far all I know is CCH Pounder, who is in everything. She is a police lady. She does police things. Her partner is kind of a spaz, but is quite good at detectoring. There is a bald man. The bald man is basically in charge. He has three little friends who are like his Crime Army. There's another dude who I think is supposed to be in charge, but everyone hates him and likes the bald man best. The other dude is pretty sour about it. CCH Pounder and her spaz-detecting friend don't seem to care either way - they just like to detect stuff. I don't know. I might be wrong.
froodle: (Default)
So I went to see Captain America last night. It was pretty good; nothing about it was particularly MIND BLOWING OH MY GOD AWESOME, but it was a fun action movie. Plus it had Dakin from the History Boys being beautiful and wearing a waistcoat while pretending to be RDJ's dad. He wasn't in it enough, to my mind, but then I would probably have had the whole film being about Dakin and his cheerleaders (oh Tony! So very much your father's son!) and his waistcoats and love of melty cheese.

Afterwards, Alex and I got fish and chips and ate them looking out over the headlands at the sea and I was bitching and moaning about Bleach and he mentioned that his favourite bit in the entire series is when the dude who has a fox for a head finds out that Aizen has seduced his little blind mate over to the Dark Side and he grows all massive and is like, "AAAAIIIIIZZZZEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!" and starts hulk-smashing the shit out of all the buildings around him while rolling his eyes in a crazy way and showing his little sharp fox teeth, because it's totally over-acted in both languages and basically it's a giant fox doing Shatner's "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!" thing, but even funnier because, you know, it's a giant fox.

And now I keep thinking how much everything ever would be improved if it had a giant fox dude just going mental and yelling "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZEEEEEENNNN!" and smashing stuff up. I think the giant fox dude should be the baddie in the Avengers movie next year. RDJ and the-ginger-guy-from-Fantastic-Four-who-sometimes-is-also-Jensen-from-the-Losers versus a giant aggro fox dude would rule.

In fact, I'm avoiding working on my Bureau-fic because I'm genuinely worried that I will write a scene where a giant fox dude just starts wrecking the place and yelling "AAAAAIIIIIIZZZZZEEEENNNN!" for no particular reason. And obviously I want to save that scene for the big dramatic finale, not waste it mid-way through the story. That would just be dumb.
froodle: (Default)
So I went to see Captain America last night. It was pretty good; nothing about it was particularly MIND BLOWING OH MY GOD AWESOME, but it was a fun action movie. Plus it had Dakin from the History Boys being beautiful and wearing a waistcoat while pretending to be RDJ's dad. He wasn't in it enough, to my mind, but then I would probably have had the whole film being about Dakin and his cheerleaders (oh Tony! So very much your father's son!) and his waistcoats and love of melty cheese.

Afterwards, Alex and I got fish and chips and ate them looking out over the headlands at the sea and I was bitching and moaning about Bleach and he mentioned that his favourite bit in the entire series is when the dude who has a fox for a head finds out that Aizen has seduced his little blind mate over to the Dark Side and he grows all massive and is like, "AAAAIIIIIZZZZEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!" and starts hulk-smashing the shit out of all the buildings around him while rolling his eyes in a crazy way and showing his little sharp fox teeth, because it's totally over-acted in both languages and basically it's a giant fox doing Shatner's "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!" thing, but even funnier because, you know, it's a giant fox.

And now I keep thinking how much everything ever would be improved if it had a giant fox dude just going mental and yelling "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZEEEEEENNNN!" and smashing stuff up. I think the giant fox dude should be the baddie in the Avengers movie next year. RDJ and the-ginger-guy-from-Fantastic-Four-who-sometimes-is-also-Jensen-from-the-Losers versus a giant aggro fox dude would rule.

In fact, I'm avoiding working on my Bureau-fic because I'm genuinely worried that I will write a scene where a giant fox dude just starts wrecking the place and yelling "AAAAAIIIIIIZZZZZEEEENNNN!" for no particular reason. And obviously I want to save that scene for the big dramatic finale, not waste it mid-way through the story. That would just be dumb.
froodle: (Default)
Well, the Glee finale was boring and lame - I liked Kurt and Minidina singing For Good, but Brittany's "My Cup" basically recycled the joke from My Headband, and of course there was no Sue, so that made everything suck.

On the other hand, Luther is back! Oh Luther! For those of you who haven't heard of it, Luther stars Idris Elba as a stern hot detective who fights crime with the power of being hot and stern, an infalliable sense of JUSTICE, and occasionally dropping serial killers from high places, while being assisted by a sexy red-haired serial killing scientist who believes in LOGIC and DISPASSIONATE REASONING and also stabbing people. They're basically Brennan and Booth's evil twins. It's great.

MY brother was bitching that Luther's wee Scouse boyfriend is a massive step down fron Daddy Winchester, but I quite like Ripley - he's so little and sweet, and okay, not as super-hot as Daddy Winchester, but also less likely to cheat on Idris Elba with the bird from Star Trek and basically plunge the entire series into chaos like in The Losers. Ripley, I approve of you.

Apart from that, I have been watching lots of Numb3rs - I know I bitched and whinged massively about the last episode of season three, but the penultimate episode, where Charlie and Don go to couples therapy together was SO CUTE, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! And Charlie was like, "I'm not as helpless as people think," and I was like, OH CHARLIE, YOU COMPLETELY ARE, BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANYWAY! The final season is FINALLY getting released over here next month, yay!

Sigh. I bought popping corn yesterday and I want to go down and make popcorn so I can eat it while I watch more Numb3rs live a rich and fulfilling life, but my Dad is doing his faffing-hen impression in the kitchen so I have to wait eight thousand years for him to finish whatever-the-fuck it is he's up to or risk getting sucked into his maelstrom of inefficiency. WHATEVER!
froodle: (Default)
Well, the Glee finale was boring and lame - I liked Kurt and Minidina singing For Good, but Brittany's "My Cup" basically recycled the joke from My Headband, and of course there was no Sue, so that made everything suck.

On the other hand, Luther is back! Oh Luther! For those of you who haven't heard of it, Luther stars Idris Elba as a stern hot detective who fights crime with the power of being hot and stern, an infalliable sense of JUSTICE, and occasionally dropping serial killers from high places, while being assisted by a sexy red-haired serial killing scientist who believes in LOGIC and DISPASSIONATE REASONING and also stabbing people. They're basically Brennan and Booth's evil twins. It's great.

MY brother was bitching that Luther's wee Scouse boyfriend is a massive step down fron Daddy Winchester, but I quite like Ripley - he's so little and sweet, and okay, not as super-hot as Daddy Winchester, but also less likely to cheat on Idris Elba with the bird from Star Trek and basically plunge the entire series into chaos like in The Losers. Ripley, I approve of you.

Apart from that, I have been watching lots of Numb3rs - I know I bitched and whinged massively about the last episode of season three, but the penultimate episode, where Charlie and Don go to couples therapy together was SO CUTE, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! And Charlie was like, "I'm not as helpless as people think," and I was like, OH CHARLIE, YOU COMPLETELY ARE, BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANYWAY! The final season is FINALLY getting released over here next month, yay!

Sigh. I bought popping corn yesterday and I want to go down and make popcorn so I can eat it while I watch more Numb3rs live a rich and fulfilling life, but my Dad is doing his faffing-hen impression in the kitchen so I have to wait eight thousand years for him to finish whatever-the-fuck it is he's up to or risk getting sucked into his maelstrom of inefficiency. WHATEVER!
froodle: (Default)
My Year In Fandom:


Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.
froodle: (Default)
My Year In Fandom:


Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Tribe and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.
froodle: (Default)
I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.
froodle: (Default)
I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.
froodle: (Default)
Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm being harsh, but if I was to show you her picture, I guarantee the first words that sprang unbidden into your minds would be "WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDGE?!" Ugh. If I disappear, she has either eaten me or forced me to take my own life in order to avoid the horror of dealing with her Cave Trollish fucktardery.

Anyway, moving on, here is a list of things that are beautiful:

  • I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.

  • So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!

  • Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*

  • OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!

  • Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!

  • I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!

  • I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.

  • It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!

  • Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!


*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.
froodle: (Default)
Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm being harsh, but if I was to show you her picture, I guarantee the first words that sprang unbidden into your minds would be "WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDGE?!" Ugh. If I disappear, she has either eaten me or forced me to take my own life in order to avoid the horror of dealing with her Cave Trollish fucktardery.

Anyway, moving on, here is a list of things that are beautiful:

  • I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.

  • So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!

  • Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*

  • OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!

  • Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!

  • I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!

  • I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.

  • It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!

  • Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!


*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.
froodle: (Default)
If the Halloween episode of Bones is amazing, then the Christmas ones are even more so. I can't decide who I love more, stoned-Christmas-hat-wearing-miracle-declaring The Dave or bitter-cranky-Santa-is-dead-OH-GOOD-stranding-Hodgins-in-a-Dumpster The Dave. Both are so perfect and lovely!

Also, I must once again ask for your help in proving to my arch-foe Snithy that her taste in men is an abomination in the eyes of God and man. Please vote in the following poll and show her the error of her ways:

Edward Cullen or Spock?

  • <input ... >
  • <input ... >
  • <input ... >

    View Results
    Create a LiveJournal Poll

    froodle: (Default)
    If the Halloween episode of Bones is amazing, then the Christmas ones are even more so. I can't decide who I love more, stoned-Christmas-hat-wearing-miracle-declaring The Dave or bitter-cranky-Santa-is-dead-OH-GOOD-stranding-Hodgins-in-a-Dumpster The Dave. Both are so perfect and lovely!

    Also, I must once again ask for your help in proving to my arch-foe Snithy that her taste in men is an abomination in the eyes of God and man. Please vote in the following poll and show her the error of her ways:

    Edward Cullen or Spock?

    • <input ... >
    • <input ... >
    • <input ... >

      View Results
      Create a LiveJournal Poll

      froodle: (Default)
      Okay, first of all, and yes I realise I am pretty much the last person in the ENTIRE WORLD to come to this conclusion, but the new Star Trek movie is SO LOVELY, OH GOD! I got it last week and this is the third time I've watched it and SO MUCH PRETTY, I actually don't know if I can stand such a high concentration of pretty.

      Secondly, is anyone else reading Generation A, and if they are, is anyone else totally picturing Zack as Jason from True Blood? Especially that bit about the video of him driving a combine naked going viral, that sounds classicly Jason Stackhouse to me.

      Thirdly, apparently there are books of the 4400. Why didn't I know this before? Why did fucking Dreamwidth have to be the one to tell me? And most importantly, are any of these the novel-length sick-and-twisted dark fic featuring Shawn and Marked!Jordan in an orgy of dubcon smuttiness that I have so longed for since about half-way through season four? Because I can only afford a couple of them right now and stupid Amazon doesn't have a DUDE SHAWN AND JORDAN ARE SO GAY IN THIS ONE tag. Which sucks. Stupid Amazon.

      Anyway, some other stuff happened this weekend which was fun but I can't be bothered to talk about it right now because STAR TREK OH GOD and also Kagame is trying to climb on me and she keeps pressing the keyboard and it's annoying so I have to go. Please get back to me about the 4400 books though.
      froodle: (Default)
      Okay, first of all, and yes I realise I am pretty much the last person in the ENTIRE WORLD to come to this conclusion, but the new Star Trek movie is SO LOVELY, OH GOD! I got it last week and this is the third time I've watched it and SO MUCH PRETTY, I actually don't know if I can stand such a high concentration of pretty.

      Secondly, is anyone else reading Generation A, and if they are, is anyone else totally picturing Zack as Jason from True Blood? Especially that bit about the video of him driving a combine naked going viral, that sounds classicly Jason Stackhouse to me.

      Thirdly, apparently there are books of the 4400. Why didn't I know this before? Why did fucking Dreamwidth have to be the one to tell me? And most importantly, are any of these the novel-length sick-and-twisted dark fic featuring Shawn and Marked!Jordan in an orgy of dubcon smuttiness that I have so longed for since about half-way through season four? Because I can only afford a couple of them right now and stupid Amazon doesn't have a DUDE SHAWN AND JORDAN ARE SO GAY IN THIS ONE tag. Which sucks. Stupid Amazon.

      Anyway, some other stuff happened this weekend which was fun but I can't be bothered to talk about it right now because STAR TREK OH GOD and also Kagame is trying to climb on me and she keeps pressing the keyboard and it's annoying so I have to go. Please get back to me about the 4400 books though.
      froodle: (Default)
      Notes From This Weekend:

      • Cadillac Records is fucking awesome. Also, Beyonce is totally not-fail as an actress. I wasn't even a little bit embarrassed for her at any point. Well done, Beyonce.
      • Push is okay. It has Papa Midnite as the main baddie, and he's cool, but the main dude is like the love child of Dean Winchester and that dude who plays Dracula in Blade: Trinity. Not as hot as it sounds, guys. Also, the cast list was all, NOW WITH ADDED TOM BALDWIN! and then I watched it and Tom Baldwin was in it for like ten seconds before he died. Not cool, Push. We do not go around killing beautiful earnest Tom Baldwin.
      • Zachary Quinto was put on this earth to torment me. They showed the trailer of the new Star Trek movie and I swear, it's like God is sitting there going, "Hey Froodle, here's a really seriously fucking hot guy for you to stare at, but the catch is, every time you see him on-screen, he's going to be playing a character that you want to kick in the nuts." Why, Zachary Quinto? Why?!
      • There is a new Fast and Furious movie. Paul Walker was being failsome and excessively American as usual. Vin Diesel was being retardatical as usual. It was all very disgraceful.
      • CORALINE WHY ARE YOU NOT OUT YET?
      • Likewise, WOLVERINE MOVIE WHY ARE YOU NOT OUT YET?
      • Mohinder, you fail at science so much. I am completely filled with distain for you. SCIENTISTS! PLEASE DO NOT INJECT YOURSELF WITH UNTESTED SHITTERY! IT NEVER ENDS WELL!
      • I really hate Woody Allen. Honestly, I want to kick him in the nuts so badly, Zachary Quinto will probably end up playing him in the biopic. Cassandra Dreams is fucktarded beyond belief. How anyone can take Colin Farrell and Ewan McGregor and turn it into a bloated, self-important, mind-numbingly dull wankfest is beyond me.
      • Profit is beautiful. Oh Profit. You are my only friend.
      • The fact that there is yet another Underworld movie makes me hate God.


      On a totally unrelated note, the House of Gas has arranged an hour and a half lecture on the Golden Ratio and Fibonacci sequences. At work. For the workers. Except that if you're scheduled to be on the 'phones, you don't get to go, which begs the question, who the fuck is expecting a bunch of phone-monkeys to give up their free time to go to a lecture, at work, on advanced mathematical concepts? Are we going to be fighting crime with them? Will the FBI and adorkable curly-headed mathematicians be involved? No? Fuck off then. I'm just so confused by the rational behind it - most of our retardo customers can't add VAT to a fuel bill without having a meltdown - is this something King Gas thinks is going to be useful in our day to day lives? WHAT IS GOING ON?!
      froodle: (Default)
      Notes From This Weekend:

      • Cadillac Records is fucking awesome. Also, Beyonce is totally not-fail as an actress. I wasn't even a little bit embarrassed for her at any point. Well done, Beyonce.
      • Push is okay. It has Papa Midnite as the main baddie, and he's cool, but the main dude is like the love child of Dean Winchester and that dude who plays Dracula in Blade: Trinity. Not as hot as it sounds, guys. Also, the cast list was all, NOW WITH ADDED TOM BALDWIN! and then I watched it and Tom Baldwin was in it for like ten seconds before he died. Not cool, Push. We do not go around killing beautiful earnest Tom Baldwin.
      • Zachary Quinto was put on this earth to torment me. They showed the trailer of the new Star Trek movie and I swear, it's like God is sitting there going, "Hey Froodle, here's a really seriously fucking hot guy for you to stare at, but the catch is, every time you see him on-screen, he's going to be playing a character that you want to kick in the nuts." Why, Zachary Quinto? Why?!
      • There is a new Fast and Furious movie. Paul Walker was being failsome and excessively American as usual. Vin Diesel was being retardatical as usual. It was all very disgraceful.
      • CORALINE WHY ARE YOU NOT OUT YET?
      • Likewise, WOLVERINE MOVIE WHY ARE YOU NOT OUT YET?
      • Mohinder, you fail at science so much. I am completely filled with distain for you. SCIENTISTS! PLEASE DO NOT INJECT YOURSELF WITH UNTESTED SHITTERY! IT NEVER ENDS WELL!
      • I really hate Woody Allen. Honestly, I want to kick him in the nuts so badly, Zachary Quinto will probably end up playing him in the biopic. Cassandra Dreams is fucktarded beyond belief. How anyone can take Colin Farrell and Ewan McGregor and turn it into a bloated, self-important, mind-numbingly dull wankfest is beyond me.
      • Profit is beautiful. Oh Profit. You are my only friend.
      • The fact that there is yet another Underworld movie makes me hate God.


      On a totally unrelated note, the House of Gas has arranged an hour and a half lecture on the Golden Ratio and Fibonacci sequences. At work. For the workers. Except that if you're scheduled to be on the 'phones, you don't get to go, which begs the question, who the fuck is expecting a bunch of phone-monkeys to give up their free time to go to a lecture, at work, on advanced mathematical concepts? Are we going to be fighting crime with them? Will the FBI and adorkable curly-headed mathematicians be involved? No? Fuck off then. I'm just so confused by the rational behind it - most of our retardo customers can't add VAT to a fuel bill without having a meltdown - is this something King Gas thinks is going to be useful in our day to day lives? WHAT IS GOING ON?!

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