froodle: (bitch)
yesterday mike shaved his beard off and he looks about ten years old (much dimples! such smooth!) and for the last two days he's been using his tiny baby face to make me do stuff for him, like make him cups of tea or princess him with blankets. then tonight he tried to grab my boobs and i was like, no its weird youre a baby now and he was like noooooo this has backfired so badly what happened!!

so now hes peering in the bathroom mirror trying to go super saiyan so his beard grows back, but last time it took nearly six months for his follicle count to reach critical mass so looks like hes a baby for the forseeable future.
froodle: (bitch)
mike: i thought i saw johnny heg today, but it turned out not to be him and i just waved at some random guy driving past.
me: yeah hes off the island this weekend
mike: he must have a lookalike in town, i swear it was his exact face.
me: you know, johnny does look kinda like joe flanigan...
mike: shit. i TOLD you bleeding on his face would summon him!
me: well i didnt bleed on him, dont blame me!
mike: great, now im getting murdered.
me: what about my brother?! hes gonna get blamed for all the killings over here!
froodle: (bitch)
we have a plush Kyubey who sometimes comes to sit on the sofa with the popular toys and every now and then one of us will be like whats this murdering piece of shit doing here? and put him back on the chair and just now i was like lol shall we call him john sheppard and mikes like fuck no thats mean to Kyubey.

(but seriously fuck you Kyubey get back on the chair)
froodle: (bitch)
man, i hate that episode "the defiant one". not because its a bad episode, but because they created a really likeable character in dr gall and he dies HORRIBLY and it sucks to watch every time.

in other news, mike is now convinced that by bleeding on the stargate atlantis dvds he has summoned the murderous ghost of john sheppard to come kill him and is refusing to handle sharp objects.
froodle: (bitch)
mike just sliced his finger open on the stargate atlantis dvds. this really isnt helping his insistence that john sheppard is a sociopathic murderbeast.
froodle: (bitch)
while we were away one of the channels in our hotel room was showing stargate atlantis and sg1 on what felt like a constant loop, with a bit of sanctuary thrown in at odd intervals.

for some reason the eps werent in order and for some reason every episode of sga they showed had shepard getting murdery or possessed or aggro and mike, who has never seen any stargate before, is really invested in this show where the male lead is a full on mass slaughterer who just straight loves the killing.

it also reminded me how much i liked sga, and now im rewatching it and trying to hide it from mike because i dont want to ruin his murderous dream. ill go get him when shepard starts going bug or lucius lavin shows up.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike playing Metal Gear Solid:

Mike: Come on, I just crashed through a window and landed next to your bed! There's glass everywhere! How are you not awake?!
Mike: Mate, get up. Get up, I wanna torture you.
Mike: Oh good, he's awake. Come here, you piece of shit.
*Snake drags the guy out of the cabin and into the shade behind the hut*
Mike: Look at that pile of your dead friends. I did that! While you were sleeping I killed all your mates. But maybe you can live if you tell me something good.
*Guy starts speaking. Snake cuts his throat*
Mike: Hahah, did you see that? I made him think he had a chance and then murdered him. I didn't even care about updating the map. I did it for fun!
Mike: ...it's a bit bad how much I enjoyed that.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike got me the bluray deluxe edition of Escaflowne for Christmas and we've just started watching it today. I love that dub!Van basically is introduced with him dad-voicing Hitomis weird decoy earth boyfriend. "Don't take that tone with me!", indeed.
froodle: (bitch)
Me: Holy shit, I forgot to put sweets out for Krampus!
Mike: Wait, what happens if we don't?
Me: I don't know, beaten with sticks? Gimme your shoes, I need to put Pringles in them.
Mike: Why does it have to be my shoes?
Me: Well, i dont know if Krampus just takes the sweets or the shoes aswell, and I'm not giving up my shoes.
Mike: Aww.
froodle: (bitch)
Lookimg for the Dangonropa DVDs on our crowded and disorganised bookcase:

Mike: What the... baba, what is this? Why is there a headless sitting man behind the Fables comics?

Me: Huh? Show me! *looks* Oh, that's my Sad Keanu doll. I guess I never repaired him.

Mike: I've got superglue, do you have his head?

Me: Oh yeah, I put it in a box. It should be on the shelves. Can you see it? It has a melted army man on the lid.

Mike: Looking for a box with a Johnny Got His Gun doll on top containing the severed head of Keanu Reeves... I love our life.

Me: Oh no I dropped his body! Can you see where it landed?

Mike: Yeah, it went under the sofa. Haha, he's spinning like a little breakdancer... oh, he stopped.

Me: Well yeah, he's got no head to spin on.

Mike: *pulls out Sad Keanu body* Shhhh oh my God, you'll make him self-concious.

Me: Hey, I found the box with his head!

Mike: Hahah, look at the state of that army man, what a loser.

Me: Oh my God you are so rude! That guy cared for Sad Keanu Head months after we forgot about him.

Mike: No way, he used Sad Keanu Head to make himself feel better. Come on, Sad Keanu, lets go sit with the cool toys.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike just accidentally stepped on Thumbalina in the Witcher dlc and spent five minutes with his hand over his mouth in horror while Geralt scraped his bloodied foot on the ground like he'd stepped in dog poo
froodle: (bitch)
Mike;s playing the remastered version of Skyrim and he;s on a mission where this dude is like "oh no my wife fiona was kidnapped by bandits from our farm" and i was like haha its probably jessica lange faking her abduction to escape his shitty cat-piss KNOTTY PIIIIIIINNNNEE farm and then it turns out that is totally the ending of the story and mike ended up telling the guy his wife's dead.

Jessica Lange, man, fucking savage.
froodle: (bitch)
Hahah, Mike just spotted Charles Furnell in an episode of the X-Files!

Eta: oh eeewwww he's a massive child molester, ick. Thrill ruined.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike and i went out for tapas tonight. I had a digimon dress on. He wore a pokemon tshirt. The owner took a picture of us in exchange for free drinks. I was like, pokemon sucks, lets be enemy supervillains. He was like, digimon is stupid, have more sangria. The moon was orange. I couldnt see the tower of refuge when we walked back, but eventually it was there. Someone had a fluffy dog. Someone else rode a skateboard with light up neon lights on the wheels. The restaurant played acoustic guitar versions of famous songs. My meat had plums and pinenuts in. It was very nice.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike spent the day with a bunch of his old bandmates and just walked in absolutely steaming drunk.

I'd left a chippy dinner out for him, he tried to pick up three sausages at the same time, dropped one and started crying, then the one he was already eating fell out of his mouth because he was crying. He screamed STUPID SEXY SAUSAGES and sat on the kitchen floor with a halfeaten sausage in each hand, taking alternate bites of them and repeatedly asking me if we have peanut butter.

Also, he is missing quite a big stripe out of his beard, and apparently in the course of the night they "mislaid" one of their group and got a weird formal whatapp message that sounded nothing like him when they asked where he was.

ETA: now he is singing about his pants to the tune of "you're the one that i want" from Grease and trying to put on one of my headbands. I'm not giving him the peanut butter.
froodle: (bitch)
I had a dream last night that members of the Chinese Mafia ate all my egg custard tarts. I think they were coming to do crime, but I was like, would you like some tarts and they were really enthusiastic about having them, so I felt bad. When I woke up, Mike told me he dreamed the council were paving our road with brooms and people who walked too slowly got swept along by the tarring crews. They were so tired that when the brush caught them, they flopped limply and rolled along the uneven ground without protest. Now we're going to M&S to buy tarts and watch out for roving gangs of pavers/tart eaters on the way.

Also, yesterday I saw an awkwardly smiling dog. He passed me on the narrow walkway along the north quay and he was big so I had to squeeze to one side to let him pass. His mouth was smipy but his eyebrows were apologetic and he trotted past quickly,like he didnt want to be stroked. It makes me happy when dogs are awkward and apologetic for existing; i feel like its ok when i do it then.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike just legit got mad at my Wormmon plushie because an antennae jabbed him in the eye, and I quote, "I can't choke him with his fucking fat neck! I tried to strangle him and my hands won't fit!" *throws him across the room* "You know what, fuck off Wormmon, this is why Ken hates you."

Eta: now he's pointedly hugging Terriermon and telling him his ears are silky while glaring at Wormmon. I fear for the emotional wellbeing of our stuffed toys.
froodle: (bitch)
Mike was playing a mission on MGS where there was an infection and he had to go into the quarantine and rescue any noninfected dudes and mercy kill the infected ones, and he went in and there was a room with like six infected dudes just stood to attention, saluting keifer and waiting for him to mercykill them and there was this dead sad music playing, and he killed them and it was sad and then he found a fucking tape deck that was playing a cassette of the sad music, like these dudes fucking musical-scored their own mercykill, what a massive bunch of drama-hams. it really made me less sad about their stoic acceptance of death, the fucking posers.
froodle: (derpklaus)
Mike and I legitimately just squabbled over character shipping in Gortimer Gibbon. Apparently he is fully team Stanley/Catherine "because they're clearly setting it up" but Mel and Ranger are "just friends" and im reading too much into it. WHATEVER ROMANCE BASED IN FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST YOULL NEVER STOP ME COPPER!!
froodle: (derpklaus)
Mike just described getting nerdrage over the new Sky ad that has tateinhispants as quicksilver but uses the come and get your love song from guardians and he was all OMG MARVEL AND FOX QUICKSILVERS ARE NOT THE SAME and i was like, oh, you are raging out about nerdy biz? you? i am so astonished CUE CHOKING JOFFREY MEME.

Geek love forever, is basically what im saying.

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