froodle: (Default)
Oh you guys. I just saw a movie that had Shawn Farrell from the 4400 in it, except instead of being beautiful and earnest, he was torturing dudes and generally being horrible in a non-entertaining way. OH SHAWN! What would your beloved Uncle Tommy say?!

Also, I have been reading the Locke and Key comics - I heard about them initially because beautiful Nick Stahl was supposed to be in a TV series based on it, being beautiful and probably doing some other stuff that I may or may not have cared about, but Fox didn't pick it up so now we'll never know. That aside, the comics themselves are really good - without giving anything away, a family moves into a big old house with loads of locked rooms and cupboards, and if the right person opens the right door with the right key, magical shit happens. If I say much more I will totally ruin it for you, but it's awesome and you guys should watch it.

On the subject of Nick Stahl, none of you are talking about Carnivale enough. This makes me cross. White Collar dudes, you should also be watching it because it has Tim DeKay in it aswell. Don't make Liamneeson send you to hell with all the Twin Peaks-ignoring rejects.

One last thing - I mentioned a while ago that I'd been reading a book about a zombie PI who went around fighting crime, which was cool, and having a non-zombie girlfriend, which was not cool, even if saying so makes me a racist. I just finished the third book, and the girlfriend is pregnant, which is so horrible I don't even want to discuss it, but I keep reading because it's full of these little scraps of meta-humour that make me smile. Case in point:

'Before we could start toward them, the front door opened and a teenage boy with mussed hair and a pouty expression walked in. He had the elongated canines of the Bloodborn, but his skin gave off a glimmering sheen.

A couple of bald, overly muscled, heavily tattooed vampires clad in scuffed leather snarled at the sight of the luminous teen. They rose from their chairs, stalked toward him, flanked him on either side, grabbed hold of his arms, lifted him off the floor, and started escorting him back toward the door.

"Hey, take it easy, guys!" the teen whined. "It's not my fault I sparkle!"

The biker vampires laughed as they left the bar, and the iron door slammed ominously shut behind them.'


Well played, Tim Waggoner. Very well played, and vastly superiour to that piece-of-shit Supernatural parody that offended my precious eyes last week. If they ever made a Nekropolis TV show, I would watch it.

As long as there was no overt zombie/regular person smooching. I have my limits.
froodle: (Default)
Oh you guys. I just saw a movie that had Shawn Farrell from the 4400 in it, except instead of being beautiful and earnest, he was torturing dudes and generally being horrible in a non-entertaining way. OH SHAWN! What would your beloved Uncle Tommy say?!

Also, I have been reading the Locke and Key comics - I heard about them initially because beautiful Nick Stahl was supposed to be in a TV series based on it, being beautiful and probably doing some other stuff that I may or may not have cared about, but Fox didn't pick it up so now we'll never know. That aside, the comics themselves are really good - without giving anything away, a family moves into a big old house with loads of locked rooms and cupboards, and if the right person opens the right door with the right key, magical shit happens. If I say much more I will totally ruin it for you, but it's awesome and you guys should watch it.

On the subject of Nick Stahl, none of you are talking about Carnivale enough. This makes me cross. White Collar dudes, you should also be watching it because it has Tim DeKay in it aswell. Don't make Liamneeson send you to hell with all the Twin Peaks-ignoring rejects.

One last thing - I mentioned a while ago that I'd been reading a book about a zombie PI who went around fighting crime, which was cool, and having a non-zombie girlfriend, which was not cool, even if saying so makes me a racist. I just finished the third book, and the girlfriend is pregnant, which is so horrible I don't even want to discuss it, but I keep reading because it's full of these little scraps of meta-humour that make me smile. Case in point:

'Before we could start toward them, the front door opened and a teenage boy with mussed hair and a pouty expression walked in. He had the elongated canines of the Bloodborn, but his skin gave off a glimmering sheen.

A couple of bald, overly muscled, heavily tattooed vampires clad in scuffed leather snarled at the sight of the luminous teen. They rose from their chairs, stalked toward him, flanked him on either side, grabbed hold of his arms, lifted him off the floor, and started escorting him back toward the door.

"Hey, take it easy, guys!" the teen whined. "It's not my fault I sparkle!"

The biker vampires laughed as they left the bar, and the iron door slammed ominously shut behind them.'


Well played, Tim Waggoner. Very well played, and vastly superiour to that piece-of-shit Supernatural parody that offended my precious eyes last week. If they ever made a Nekropolis TV show, I would watch it.

As long as there was no overt zombie/regular person smooching. I have my limits.
froodle: (Default)
So lately the universe has been hinting to me that I should watch Twin Peaks again - the adverts for it are showing on Sky, McNerdcakes mentioned it last week, and my brother described a roasted chicken he found at the back of the fridge as "dead, wrapped in plastic." Never one to ignore signs from the great Liamneeson, I of course have obeyed His will and dug out my old, non-Gold-Box DVDs.

On Saturday I had a few friends 'round that I haven't seen in nearly a decade - we all went to the College of Knowledge together back in the day, but our contact over the last ten years has all been via text messages, so we decided to have a movie-fest/catch-up/crazed-almost-fatal-sugar-high extravaganza.

When they turned up I was watching Twin Peaks, and it turns out that not a single one of them has ever heard of it.

You guys, this is totally inconceivable. Now I'm sad because Liamneeson is going to condemn all my old friends to Hell for not being cool enough to have seen Twin Peaks. I'm sort of tempted to try to save them from damnation by arranging a three-day Twin Peaks fest, where we watch the whole series and imbibe nothing but pie, coffee and doughnuts* until we all die from weirdness and sugar overload.

Clearly I will need to purchase the Gold Box edition before the event. I feel that is only right. Liamneeson would totally agree with me.

*Actually, I hate doughnuts, so I will subtly encourage them to bring pie and coffee only.
froodle: (Default)
So lately the universe has been hinting to me that I should watch Twin Peaks again - the adverts for it are showing on Sky, McNerdcakes mentioned it last week, and my brother described a roasted chicken he found at the back of the fridge as "dead, wrapped in plastic." Never one to ignore signs from the great Liamneeson, I of course have obeyed His will and dug out my old, non-Gold-Box DVDs.

On Saturday I had a few friends 'round that I haven't seen in nearly a decade - we all went to the College of Knowledge together back in the day, but our contact over the last ten years has all been via text messages, so we decided to have a movie-fest/catch-up/crazed-almost-fatal-sugar-high extravaganza.

When they turned up I was watching Twin Peaks, and it turns out that not a single one of them has ever heard of it.

You guys, this is totally inconceivable. Now I'm sad because Liamneeson is going to condemn all my old friends to Hell for not being cool enough to have seen Twin Peaks. I'm sort of tempted to try to save them from damnation by arranging a three-day Twin Peaks fest, where we watch the whole series and imbibe nothing but pie, coffee and doughnuts* until we all die from weirdness and sugar overload.

Clearly I will need to purchase the Gold Box edition before the event. I feel that is only right. Liamneeson would totally agree with me.

*Actually, I hate doughnuts, so I will subtly encourage them to bring pie and coffee only.
froodle: (Default)
Urgh. I had this whole post planned about how great True Blood is and about how Liamneeson has finally answered my prayers for a series about redneck vampires who don't fight crime or really do anything, but then I came on here and the sheer fugliness of the new profile page caused poison to drip from my eyes and now they burn with agony and I don't feel like it anymore.

ANYWAY! I hope everyone had lots of fun celebrating the holy trifecta of awesomeness that is Halloween-Bonfire Night-Froodle Day - I have been watching Battlestar Galactica and coming to the conclusion that every show should have one snarky scientist character, because Gaius makes everything so much better through his presence. I may even love him more than Rodney and Kevin, and that is very impressive because I love Rodney and Kevin so much and also neither of them ever accidently destroyed the human race, unlike Baltar. That scene where Gaeta is being a big gay liar and wrecking Badger's stragety of stragetic awesome and Gaius kicks off at him and he's like, "The whole fleet knows this man tried to stab me through the neck. And you missed! Butterfingers!" Favourite line of any episode of BSG, ever. And BSG is hardly short of brilliant lines. I'm not saying I want to get stabbed just so I have the opportunity to use it, but still.
froodle: (Default)
Urgh. I had this whole post planned about how great True Blood is and about how Liamneeson has finally answered my prayers for a series about redneck vampires who don't fight crime or really do anything, but then I came on here and the sheer fugliness of the new profile page caused poison to drip from my eyes and now they burn with agony and I don't feel like it anymore.

ANYWAY! I hope everyone had lots of fun celebrating the holy trifecta of awesomeness that is Halloween-Bonfire Night-Froodle Day - I have been watching Battlestar Galactica and coming to the conclusion that every show should have one snarky scientist character, because Gaius makes everything so much better through his presence. I may even love him more than Rodney and Kevin, and that is very impressive because I love Rodney and Kevin so much and also neither of them ever accidently destroyed the human race, unlike Baltar. That scene where Gaeta is being a big gay liar and wrecking Badger's stragety of stragetic awesome and Gaius kicks off at him and he's like, "The whole fleet knows this man tried to stab me through the neck. And you missed! Butterfingers!" Favourite line of any episode of BSG, ever. And BSG is hardly short of brilliant lines. I'm not saying I want to get stabbed just so I have the opportunity to use it, but still.
froodle: (Default)
So I'm off work today, and I'm wandering around town checking out which stores have their Halloween goodies in yet (answer: not enough of them) and I see that Woolworths is having a sale on Power Rangers DVDs. Clearly, this is a sign from Liamneeson that I must partake of Bray-in-Spandex-related glee, and as I always obey Liamneeson in all things, I bring you:

Ghost Cupcakes )

The Game )

Ghost Zoot is in your house... )

...banging your dead girlfriend! )
froodle: (Default)
So I'm off work today, and I'm wandering around town checking out which stores have their Halloween goodies in yet (answer: not enough of them) and I see that Woolworths is having a sale on Power Rangers DVDs. Clearly, this is a sign from Liamneeson that I must partake of Bray-in-Spandex-related glee, and as I always obey Liamneeson in all things, I bring you:

Ghost Cupcakes )

The Game )

Ghost Zoot is in your house... )

...banging your dead girlfriend! )
froodle: (bitch)
Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.

Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.

Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.

In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.

    Colin Farrel
    Daddy Winchester
    Ian McShane
    Adam Baldwin
    Edward James Olmos
    James Remarr
    Edward Norton
    Keifer Sutherland
    Idina Menzel (yes, just as it is possible for a man to be man-pretty, it is possible for a woman to be girl-studly)
    Liam Neeson
    Colin Farrel (so studly, he gets listed twice)
    Idris Elba
    Omar
    Russel Crowe
    Seth Bullock
    Joe Flanigan
    Christian Bale
    Jordan Collier (Shawn can be his little werewolf bitch in this case)
    Mark Anthony
    Nathan Petrelli
    Robert Downey Jnr (Jake Gyllenhaal can be his little werewolf bitch)
    Denzel Washington
    Gabriel Byrne
    Ryan O'Reilly
    Gerard Butler
    Brendan Fraser
    Scripps


As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.

*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.

**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name.
froodle: (bitch)
Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.

Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.

Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.

In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.

    Colin Farrel
    Daddy Winchester
    Ian McShane
    Adam Baldwin
    Edward James Olmos
    James Remarr
    Edward Norton
    Keifer Sutherland
    Idina Menzel (yes, just as it is possible for a man to be man-pretty, it is possible for a woman to be girl-studly)
    Liam Neeson
    Colin Farrel (so studly, he gets listed twice)
    Idris Elba
    Omar
    Russel Crowe
    Seth Bullock
    Joe Flanigan
    Christian Bale
    Jordan Collier (Shawn can be his little werewolf bitch in this case)
    Mark Anthony
    Nathan Petrelli
    Robert Downey Jnr (Jake Gyllenhaal can be his little werewolf bitch)
    Denzel Washington
    Gabriel Byrne
    Ryan O'Reilly
    Gerard Butler
    Brendan Fraser
    Scripps


As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.

*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.

**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name.
froodle: (Default)
Wow, I suck at updating. In my defence though, I have been extremely distracted by a combination of Roar and Stargate Atlantis - in the episode I'm watching right now, Ronan has just invented a game where the sole purpose is to give him an excuse for grabbing Johns ass. And Sheppards just like, okay, that's a totally believable game, I'll go along with it. I mean, really. When I was in college, we did this whole bit on consent obtained by deception, and there was one case about a music teacher who touched up (euphamism for something much worse I don't want to go into this early in the morning) his students under the pretence that it would improve their singing. I always used to wonder how anyone could be that naive, and now I know - they were all related to John Sheppard.

Anyway, leaving aside random military dudes who don't even know when they're being molested, Roar is so... okay, it's like what would happen if Highlander and the Tribe had a baby - it's so poor, but at the same time, it has so much leather-clad Heath, and therefore it's really hard for me to form a definate opinion. And then there are a couple of really great episodes, not to mention a few scenes where you can totally tell it's done by the same guy who did American Gothic, and therefore at least temporarily awesome. Unfortunately, Longinus and Diana, the nominal baddies, are clearly meant to be cast from the same mould as Lucas and Selina, and they completely fail to measure up. Especially Longinus, who frankly is a whingy little Roman bitch. I kind of like Diana, though, if only because she shares my hatred for dance.

On the subject of how much I hate dance, Mama Froodle came to visit again last week - it was pretty enjoyable, apart from the part where she forced me to go to the ballet. Let me just state again - I HATE DANCE. Especially ballet, which is just a bunch of underfed white boys flailing around like spastics who've gone off their medication. It was like - you know that episode of Angel where they go to Pylea, and Lorne is explaining that they have no music, but unfortunately they still have dancing, and then Numquar does the dance of joy in complete silence? It was like that, for three hours. I only survived because I started fantasizing about shooting everyone onstage in their kneecaps. Fortunately, as with all great artists, pain and suffering leads to creativity, so I give you Read more... )

In other news, seven weeks 'til Halloween, yay! ASDA have already put their decorations and things out - this year they have a really cool skeleton in a hanging cage, and when you press a button the skeleton shouts and rattles the bars and tries to escape, and an awesome jug in the shape of a skull. I also got a set of four really cute votive candle holders decorated with bats which arrived today (hence why I'm up so early). Also, fair warning to anyone attending Casa Del Froodle this year who plans on turning up in a Nurse!Joker costume - I will try to grab your ass. I promise I won't pretend it's some lame homoeroticized version of Capture The Flag, though. Seriously, Ronan. Fail.
froodle: (Default)
Wow, I suck at updating. In my defence though, I have been extremely distracted by a combination of Roar and Stargate Atlantis - in the episode I'm watching right now, Ronan has just invented a game where the sole purpose is to give him an excuse for grabbing Johns ass. And Sheppards just like, okay, that's a totally believable game, I'll go along with it. I mean, really. When I was in college, we did this whole bit on consent obtained by deception, and there was one case about a music teacher who touched up (euphamism for something much worse I don't want to go into this early in the morning) his students under the pretence that it would improve their singing. I always used to wonder how anyone could be that naive, and now I know - they were all related to John Sheppard.

Anyway, leaving aside random military dudes who don't even know when they're being molested, Roar is so... okay, it's like what would happen if Highlander and the Tribe had a baby - it's so poor, but at the same time, it has so much leather-clad Heath, and therefore it's really hard for me to form a definate opinion. And then there are a couple of really great episodes, not to mention a few scenes where you can totally tell it's done by the same guy who did American Gothic, and therefore at least temporarily awesome. Unfortunately, Longinus and Diana, the nominal baddies, are clearly meant to be cast from the same mould as Lucas and Selina, and they completely fail to measure up. Especially Longinus, who frankly is a whingy little Roman bitch. I kind of like Diana, though, if only because she shares my hatred for dance.

On the subject of how much I hate dance, Mama Froodle came to visit again last week - it was pretty enjoyable, apart from the part where she forced me to go to the ballet. Let me just state again - I HATE DANCE. Especially ballet, which is just a bunch of underfed white boys flailing around like spastics who've gone off their medication. It was like - you know that episode of Angel where they go to Pylea, and Lorne is explaining that they have no music, but unfortunately they still have dancing, and then Numquar does the dance of joy in complete silence? It was like that, for three hours. I only survived because I started fantasizing about shooting everyone onstage in their kneecaps. Fortunately, as with all great artists, pain and suffering leads to creativity, so I give you Read more... )

In other news, seven weeks 'til Halloween, yay! ASDA have already put their decorations and things out - this year they have a really cool skeleton in a hanging cage, and when you press a button the skeleton shouts and rattles the bars and tries to escape, and an awesome jug in the shape of a skull. I also got a set of four really cute votive candle holders decorated with bats which arrived today (hence why I'm up so early). Also, fair warning to anyone attending Casa Del Froodle this year who plans on turning up in a Nurse!Joker costume - I will try to grab your ass. I promise I won't pretend it's some lame homoeroticized version of Capture The Flag, though. Seriously, Ronan. Fail.
froodle: (harveyken)
I'm back, losers. Somehow I managed to contract a computer virus that required me to reload my entire operating system from scratch, losing all my valuable files and links in the process. I cannot help thinking Liamneeson is punishing me for the whole Nathan/Peter thing. I SAID I WAS SORRY, OKAY?! I HAVE ISSUES AND I DON'T LIKE MOHINDER/SYLAR VERY MUCH AND THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL THERE IS APART FROM PETRELLICEST IN THIS FANDOM AND NATHAN IS SO VERY VERY ATTRACTIVE AND IT CONFUSES ME HOW ATTRACTIVE HE IS AND THEN I MAKE BAD CHOICES WITH MY PORN!

Anyway, I have paid my penance, and now I have returned with an important message for you all. And it is thus: go and watch In Bruges. Seriously. I was going to go watch the new Clone Wars movie and maybe see TDK again this weekend, but I watched In Bruges in the morning and it was so marvellous, I decided to cancel all other plans in favour of an impromptu Colinfest.

Yes, that's right, In Bruges is more awesome than the Dark Knight. I'm not joking. Batbale might be hot-shit when it comes to high-tech gadgetry and fighting crime, but In Bruges has Colin Farrel karate-chopping a midget and calling a skinhead a "bumboy" right before blinding him. Plus awesome lines about Dutch paintings being "rubbish by spastics" and Colin being chased around the town square by fatass American tourists after calling them "a bunch of fucking elephants." Unlucky, TDK, you have been completely outstripped. I was actually going to draw a picture of Colin Farrel ass-raping Batbale to express how superiour In Bruges is, but it's really difficult to draw ass-fuckery with stick figures. So, you get nothing.

...why are you still here? Go buy it on DVD. Or you're gay.
froodle: (harveyken)
I'm back, losers. Somehow I managed to contract a computer virus that required me to reload my entire operating system from scratch, losing all my valuable files and links in the process. I cannot help thinking Liamneeson is punishing me for the whole Nathan/Peter thing. I SAID I WAS SORRY, OKAY?! I HAVE ISSUES AND I DON'T LIKE MOHINDER/SYLAR VERY MUCH AND THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL THERE IS APART FROM PETRELLICEST IN THIS FANDOM AND NATHAN IS SO VERY VERY ATTRACTIVE AND IT CONFUSES ME HOW ATTRACTIVE HE IS AND THEN I MAKE BAD CHOICES WITH MY PORN!

Anyway, I have paid my penance, and now I have returned with an important message for you all. And it is thus: go and watch In Bruges. Seriously. I was going to go watch the new Clone Wars movie and maybe see TDK again this weekend, but I watched In Bruges in the morning and it was so marvellous, I decided to cancel all other plans in favour of an impromptu Colinfest.

Yes, that's right, In Bruges is more awesome than the Dark Knight. I'm not joking. Batbale might be hot-shit when it comes to high-tech gadgetry and fighting crime, but In Bruges has Colin Farrel karate-chopping a midget and calling a skinhead a "bumboy" right before blinding him. Plus awesome lines about Dutch paintings being "rubbish by spastics" and Colin being chased around the town square by fatass American tourists after calling them "a bunch of fucking elephants." Unlucky, TDK, you have been completely outstripped. I was actually going to draw a picture of Colin Farrel ass-raping Batbale to express how superiour In Bruges is, but it's really difficult to draw ass-fuckery with stick figures. So, you get nothing.

...why are you still here? Go buy it on DVD. Or you're gay.
froodle: (Default)
So apparently I have laryngitis. I would like to say YES OH MY GOD THANK YOU LIAMNEESON! but I have completely lost my voice, so I can't say anything at all. And in case you're wondering why I should be so joyful about contracting a voice-stealing viral infection, it's because I am now doctor-ordered to stay off the 'phones and away from fuckwit customers. So in your FACE, House of Gas, if you'd let me off when I first told you my voice was going and my throat hurt, it probably wouldn't have gotten to this stage, but now? Now you can suck my DICK for the next few weeks. That'll teach you to treat your employees like shit and assume you know the rhythms of my body better than I do.

On an entirely different note, is there some kind of secret rule that Jeremy Renner doesn't get to live to the end of any movie ever? Even when you really think that this time will be the time he makes it, he always ends up getting stabbed or run over by a train or set on fire by the stupid US Army. Also, it's very confusing when people keep calling him Doyle. I don't think that should be allowed.

In other news, I have been re-watching the earlier seasons of Numb3rs, you know, back when Don supplied the required amounts of suspect-beating and manly violence, and seriously, it is so awesome. I love that bit where Megan and Charlie are having a conversation about some evil professor dude having a poker tell, and Megan's all, *gives psychological advice* and then Charlie asks to borrow some FBI survelliance equiptment to spy on the evil dude and Megan's like, "Uhh... no." And Charlie looks really put out, like it was a totally reasonable request and Megan's just being awkward about it. Also, the whole Thing with Megan and Larry is so cute and filled with convoluted cosmic metaphor and general coolity. Like when they're having a conversation about bathtubs and Megan's all, trying to insinuate Adult Things and Larry keeps going on and on about Archimedes and other Larry-like stuff and it's just great and adorkable.

Also, the whole Colby/Charlie thing has totally grown on me - like in the treasure-huntin' episode when Liz is all new and Charlie is jibbing about some... I think it was a towboat or something, I don't know... and Liz is being all skeptical about the POWERS OF MATHS and she's like, "Tch, silliness!" and Colby's all, "No really, he's fun to watch" and Liz gives him this look like, "Yeah, maybe for you, I prefer my Eppes with more MANLY VIOLENCE, thank you very much." And when Kathy Najimy keeps trying to manipulate Charlie into doing stuff by comparing him to James Bond, and he shows up at a crime scene in a tux and he's all, IMMA LIKE JAMES BOND WITH MATHS! and Colby is like, "no" and Charlie is like, *sadface* and OMG you guys it is so cute, go and watch Numb3rs!

Argh... you know when you want fic, but you're too lazy to go look for it yourself? That's what I'm like at the moment. Somebody go find me some Colby/Charlie fic that is awesome and contains no sadness or angst or anything bad. Oh, and especially nothing where the characters waste pages and pages whining about how Don/David/Alan/Larry/Megan will react. They will be awesome, just like they always are. Lou Diamond Phillips will probably be disapproving, but he and Don will glare at each other through their alpha-male sunglasses until they feel the issue is resolved. Then everyone will drink coffee. It's just like a real episode, but with mankissing! I should totally write for TV.
froodle: (Default)
So apparently I have laryngitis. I would like to say YES OH MY GOD THANK YOU LIAMNEESON! but I have completely lost my voice, so I can't say anything at all. And in case you're wondering why I should be so joyful about contracting a voice-stealing viral infection, it's because I am now doctor-ordered to stay off the 'phones and away from fuckwit customers. So in your FACE, House of Gas, if you'd let me off when I first told you my voice was going and my throat hurt, it probably wouldn't have gotten to this stage, but now? Now you can suck my DICK for the next few weeks. That'll teach you to treat your employees like shit and assume you know the rhythms of my body better than I do.

On an entirely different note, is there some kind of secret rule that Jeremy Renner doesn't get to live to the end of any movie ever? Even when you really think that this time will be the time he makes it, he always ends up getting stabbed or run over by a train or set on fire by the stupid US Army. Also, it's very confusing when people keep calling him Doyle. I don't think that should be allowed.

In other news, I have been re-watching the earlier seasons of Numb3rs, you know, back when Don supplied the required amounts of suspect-beating and manly violence, and seriously, it is so awesome. I love that bit where Megan and Charlie are having a conversation about some evil professor dude having a poker tell, and Megan's all, *gives psychological advice* and then Charlie asks to borrow some FBI survelliance equiptment to spy on the evil dude and Megan's like, "Uhh... no." And Charlie looks really put out, like it was a totally reasonable request and Megan's just being awkward about it. Also, the whole Thing with Megan and Larry is so cute and filled with convoluted cosmic metaphor and general coolity. Like when they're having a conversation about bathtubs and Megan's all, trying to insinuate Adult Things and Larry keeps going on and on about Archimedes and other Larry-like stuff and it's just great and adorkable.

Also, the whole Colby/Charlie thing has totally grown on me - like in the treasure-huntin' episode when Liz is all new and Charlie is jibbing about some... I think it was a towboat or something, I don't know... and Liz is being all skeptical about the POWERS OF MATHS and she's like, "Tch, silliness!" and Colby's all, "No really, he's fun to watch" and Liz gives him this look like, "Yeah, maybe for you, I prefer my Eppes with more MANLY VIOLENCE, thank you very much." And when Kathy Najimy keeps trying to manipulate Charlie into doing stuff by comparing him to James Bond, and he shows up at a crime scene in a tux and he's all, IMMA LIKE JAMES BOND WITH MATHS! and Colby is like, "no" and Charlie is like, *sadface* and OMG you guys it is so cute, go and watch Numb3rs!

Argh... you know when you want fic, but you're too lazy to go look for it yourself? That's what I'm like at the moment. Somebody go find me some Colby/Charlie fic that is awesome and contains no sadness or angst or anything bad. Oh, and especially nothing where the characters waste pages and pages whining about how Don/David/Alan/Larry/Megan will react. They will be awesome, just like they always are. Lou Diamond Phillips will probably be disapproving, but he and Don will glare at each other through their alpha-male sunglasses until they feel the issue is resolved. Then everyone will drink coffee. It's just like a real episode, but with mankissing! I should totally write for TV.
froodle: (Default)
Well, well, well. Once again, I must apologise for leaving you bereft and Froodless for such a long time. In my defence, the last couple of weeks have been MADNESS, of the very best sort. Kicking off with THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER, in which I gave myself a headache with my Medusa costume, made myself sick by eating too many cakes, was asked to be a Godmother (mwahaha, the Church of Liamneeson lives!), actually got Trick-or-Treaters who weren't chavs, had a powercut on Halloween night, and took many pictures that will be used to embarrass my fellow revellers once they are staid and responsible parents. Although they can't be all that responsible, because really, who makes someone like me responsible for a childs' religious edutainment?

Laterwards, I and Snithy both succumbed to the wonders of Newly Hot David Boreanaz, in the guise of swoon-inducing FBI agent... uh, I forget what his name was, but it was stupid. Anyway, he's Totally Hot and shoots things and digs and threatens to shoot gender-ambiguous lab assistants for asking him about his sex life. Needless to say, it totally rules.

Then, as if such Halloweeny and David Boreanazy joy wasn't enough, it was my birthday, which I celebrated in the best tradition of Making People Buy Me Stuff, which was cool even though I didn't get a monkey or a dancing baby penguin. I did see the History Boys (awesome), the Prestige (stupid plot twist barely compensated for by having Hughverine and Batbale wear top hats) and the Departed (which would have been awesome if not for MAtt Damon, and when I say Matt Damon you have to imagine me saying it in the voice of the Matt Damon puppet from Team America, because that is exactly how I feel about Matt Damon.)

Also, I finally got around to watching Carnivale, which is... interesting. I feel bad for Libby, though; her mother's a whore, her father is weak and ineffectual and her sister is dead, and now I reckon Jonesy has a bit of a mancrush on Ben since the Laying On Of Hands. Also, Lodz is creepy. Like, way, way creepier than Brother Justin. Also, there should be more bears. Take a hint from Lost, writers; bears are awesome.

Also, Snithy, you will be gleeified to know that the cheque for Wicked is in the post, complete with deathly hamsters of death and possibly some lumberjacks, and that I have booked my ticket to... Cornwall or Colchester or wherever it is you live. And if your home town does not prove to be the pit of moonshine-swilling hillbillies I imagined it to be, I will be most displeased.
froodle: (Default)
Well, well, well. Once again, I must apologise for leaving you bereft and Froodless for such a long time. In my defence, the last couple of weeks have been MADNESS, of the very best sort. Kicking off with THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER, in which I gave myself a headache with my Medusa costume, made myself sick by eating too many cakes, was asked to be a Godmother (mwahaha, the Church of Liamneeson lives!), actually got Trick-or-Treaters who weren't chavs, had a powercut on Halloween night, and took many pictures that will be used to embarrass my fellow revellers once they are staid and responsible parents. Although they can't be all that responsible, because really, who makes someone like me responsible for a childs' religious edutainment?

Laterwards, I and Snithy both succumbed to the wonders of Newly Hot David Boreanaz, in the guise of swoon-inducing FBI agent... uh, I forget what his name was, but it was stupid. Anyway, he's Totally Hot and shoots things and digs and threatens to shoot gender-ambiguous lab assistants for asking him about his sex life. Needless to say, it totally rules.

Then, as if such Halloweeny and David Boreanazy joy wasn't enough, it was my birthday, which I celebrated in the best tradition of Making People Buy Me Stuff, which was cool even though I didn't get a monkey or a dancing baby penguin. I did see the History Boys (awesome), the Prestige (stupid plot twist barely compensated for by having Hughverine and Batbale wear top hats) and the Departed (which would have been awesome if not for MAtt Damon, and when I say Matt Damon you have to imagine me saying it in the voice of the Matt Damon puppet from Team America, because that is exactly how I feel about Matt Damon.)

Also, I finally got around to watching Carnivale, which is... interesting. I feel bad for Libby, though; her mother's a whore, her father is weak and ineffectual and her sister is dead, and now I reckon Jonesy has a bit of a mancrush on Ben since the Laying On Of Hands. Also, Lodz is creepy. Like, way, way creepier than Brother Justin. Also, there should be more bears. Take a hint from Lost, writers; bears are awesome.

Also, Snithy, you will be gleeified to know that the cheque for Wicked is in the post, complete with deathly hamsters of death and possibly some lumberjacks, and that I have booked my ticket to... Cornwall or Colchester or wherever it is you live. And if your home town does not prove to be the pit of moonshine-swilling hillbillies I imagined it to be, I will be most displeased.
froodle: (Default)


Read more... )


Sex, ninjas, forbidden love, Liam Neeson and the bitterness only a lifetime in customer service can produce? Tell me that wouldn't make for a great story. I'd read it.
froodle: (Default)


Read more... )


Sex, ninjas, forbidden love, Liam Neeson and the bitterness only a lifetime in customer service can produce? Tell me that wouldn't make for a great story. I'd read it.

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