froodle: (Default)
I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.
froodle: (Default)
I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.
froodle: (Default)
Okay, I just finished watching the second season of Heroes, and I will at least semi-retract all the snarky comments I made about Sylar being a complete 'tard in terms of villiany. I mean, he's still pretty much a whiny little bitch in an alpha-male body, and he certainly doesn't stand up to time-honoured villians of awesome such as Angelus and the Mayor*, but Read more... )

Also, I really do not care if Adam/Kensei/whatever is evil or not, because he is hi-lariously awesome and completely wins at drunkenness and sucker-punching folk and generally being suave and English and not crying about everything like a big fucking loser, and that makes a man rise very high in my estimation. Not to mention the fact that if it wasn't for him, Read more... )

Hmm, I thought I had more to say here, but probably talking about the hotness of Nathan has driven any other thoughts out of my mind, so I'll leave it here.

*For the record, he can't karate-chop midgets either, but I'm pretty sure that is a super-power unique to Colin Farrel, so I won't bitch.
froodle: (Default)
Okay, I just finished watching the second season of Heroes, and I will at least semi-retract all the snarky comments I made about Sylar being a complete 'tard in terms of villiany. I mean, he's still pretty much a whiny little bitch in an alpha-male body, and he certainly doesn't stand up to time-honoured villians of awesome such as Angelus and the Mayor*, but Read more... )

Also, I really do not care if Adam/Kensei/whatever is evil or not, because he is hi-lariously awesome and completely wins at drunkenness and sucker-punching folk and generally being suave and English and not crying about everything like a big fucking loser, and that makes a man rise very high in my estimation. Not to mention the fact that if it wasn't for him, Read more... )

Hmm, I thought I had more to say here, but probably talking about the hotness of Nathan has driven any other thoughts out of my mind, so I'll leave it here.

*For the record, he can't karate-chop midgets either, but I'm pretty sure that is a super-power unique to Colin Farrel, so I won't bitch.
froodle: (Default)
So, I have fresh strawberries and Buffy on DVD (yes, I know it's not as important as not being Jake Lloyd, but it's still pretty damn important) and I actually remembered to clean the bathroom today, so I'm feeling fairly accomplished. Also, I would like to say that while the Mayor is clearly the Comedy King of Buffy villians, I Only Have Eyes For You will have me in hysterics every single time Buffy calls Angelus a bitch. And also, oh my God, is that Sol Star I see playing Sunnydale High's Janitor George? The IMDB says yes. I'm trying to imagine the circumstances in which Sol would have to sit Bullock down and explain to him that he once killed a woman while possessed by an angry highschooler from the 1950s, but I think it would just make Bullock angry and confused and then he'd have to go out and pistol-whip some hooples or insult Trixie or throw Al off a balcony, as is his wont.

Also, it bothers me to think that if Ian McShane and Edward James Olmos got into a fight, Edward James Olmos would probably win, because Ian McShane has awesome frontiersman stabbin' skills, but EJO has the power of 80s fashion HORROR and I don't think Ian McShane could withstand a full frontal assault in clashing pastels and neon. This is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.
froodle: (Default)
So, I have fresh strawberries and Buffy on DVD (yes, I know it's not as important as not being Jake Lloyd, but it's still pretty damn important) and I actually remembered to clean the bathroom today, so I'm feeling fairly accomplished. Also, I would like to say that while the Mayor is clearly the Comedy King of Buffy villians, I Only Have Eyes For You will have me in hysterics every single time Buffy calls Angelus a bitch. And also, oh my God, is that Sol Star I see playing Sunnydale High's Janitor George? The IMDB says yes. I'm trying to imagine the circumstances in which Sol would have to sit Bullock down and explain to him that he once killed a woman while possessed by an angry highschooler from the 1950s, but I think it would just make Bullock angry and confused and then he'd have to go out and pistol-whip some hooples or insult Trixie or throw Al off a balcony, as is his wont.

Also, it bothers me to think that if Ian McShane and Edward James Olmos got into a fight, Edward James Olmos would probably win, because Ian McShane has awesome frontiersman stabbin' skills, but EJO has the power of 80s fashion HORROR and I don't think Ian McShane could withstand a full frontal assault in clashing pastels and neon. This is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.
froodle: (Default)
I think Buffy has ruined me for all other fandoms. No matter what show I watch, inevitably the thought will occur to me that there should be a musical episode in which everyone sings and dances merrily, except Dawn, who dies horribly and is laughed at by all. It's like Angelus; no other villian can ever match Angelus for pure, unadulterated class. And no show can ever be as good as Buffy, because no other show has a musical episode. Except Angel, because, dude, Puppet Cancer!

So I'm there watching that episode of BSG where they find the ship with all the sleeping people in it and then they wake up and they all go to this planet with the annoying little robot dudes who think Starbuck is a girl (and oh my, isn't that hilarious a quarter of a century later?), and he's talking to the kids about his wacky misadventures and he's like, "There were Cylons to the left of me, Cylons to the right.." and I'm there expectantly waiting for the instrumentals to kick in with "And here I am, stuck in the middle with you."

And then he doesn't, and I feel sad inside.
froodle: (Default)
I think Buffy has ruined me for all other fandoms. No matter what show I watch, inevitably the thought will occur to me that there should be a musical episode in which everyone sings and dances merrily, except Dawn, who dies horribly and is laughed at by all. It's like Angelus; no other villian can ever match Angelus for pure, unadulterated class. And no show can ever be as good as Buffy, because no other show has a musical episode. Except Angel, because, dude, Puppet Cancer!

So I'm there watching that episode of BSG where they find the ship with all the sleeping people in it and then they wake up and they all go to this planet with the annoying little robot dudes who think Starbuck is a girl (and oh my, isn't that hilarious a quarter of a century later?), and he's talking to the kids about his wacky misadventures and he's like, "There were Cylons to the left of me, Cylons to the right.." and I'm there expectantly waiting for the instrumentals to kick in with "And here I am, stuck in the middle with you."

And then he doesn't, and I feel sad inside.
froodle: (Default)
I love Mayor Chisel. Seriously, the guy is a complete dude. He's blatently the forerunner of Major Wilkins from Buffy, coincidently my favourite Big Bad of the entire Jossverse (Angelus doesn't count, that being mostly based on sex-appeal and eyeliner and leather pants, all of which Faith, as Mayor Wilkin's sidekick, also had). Of course, Mayor Chisel doesn't Ascend into a giant snake and he doesn't have a sexy evil Slayer on his team, but he did try to feed Dash and Mars to a werewolf - and I was in hysterics when he basically mocks Mars for having caught Werewolfitus; it's such a hilariously tasteless and cruel thing to do - and he projects that same genial, avuncular brand of Evilness that was Mayor Wilkin's trademark.

Also, whatever's going on in Eerie? He's so in on it. That big fit he has about the Circus of the Parabelievable, and how anxious he is to get his hands of the "Space Thingie" (a name worthy of Jhonen Vasquez, incidently, and I can offer no higher praise than that), coincidently just one episode before Dash shows up? Conspiracy! Also the Loyal Order of Corn, the Harvest King festival, the speech about America's history of looking the other way, the speech about not liking newcomers, and the fact that he hangs around with Elvis? Either he's an alien, or he really is an "overbearing, money-grabbing Mayor" who has sold the town out for shiny alien gold.

And come on, he feeds people to a werewolf! Who hasn't wanted to do that occaisonally?
froodle: (Default)
I love Mayor Chisel. Seriously, the guy is a complete dude. He's blatently the forerunner of Major Wilkins from Buffy, coincidently my favourite Big Bad of the entire Jossverse (Angelus doesn't count, that being mostly based on sex-appeal and eyeliner and leather pants, all of which Faith, as Mayor Wilkin's sidekick, also had). Of course, Mayor Chisel doesn't Ascend into a giant snake and he doesn't have a sexy evil Slayer on his team, but he did try to feed Dash and Mars to a werewolf - and I was in hysterics when he basically mocks Mars for having caught Werewolfitus; it's such a hilariously tasteless and cruel thing to do - and he projects that same genial, avuncular brand of Evilness that was Mayor Wilkin's trademark.

Also, whatever's going on in Eerie? He's so in on it. That big fit he has about the Circus of the Parabelievable, and how anxious he is to get his hands of the "Space Thingie" (a name worthy of Jhonen Vasquez, incidently, and I can offer no higher praise than that), coincidently just one episode before Dash shows up? Conspiracy! Also the Loyal Order of Corn, the Harvest King festival, the speech about America's history of looking the other way, the speech about not liking newcomers, and the fact that he hangs around with Elvis? Either he's an alien, or he really is an "overbearing, money-grabbing Mayor" who has sold the town out for shiny alien gold.

And come on, he feeds people to a werewolf! Who hasn't wanted to do that occaisonally?
froodle: (Default)
Tch, Duncan is such a jackass. I can't believe he broke up with Methos over something as petty as a handful of massacres that happened over three thousand years ago! Stupid Duncan.

Maybe it's because I was spoilt by seeing Angelus at a tender age, but Dark Quickening!Duncan and Horseman!Methos do absolutely nothing for me. With Methos, I was busy laughing at his hair and his silly mask, and Dark Quickening!Duncan is just... boring. Seriously, I'm there watching him being all snarly and attitudinal, and I'm rolling my eyes and wondering if Methos will show up soon. Even during the part where he attacks Richie, it's like part of me was thinking "I know I should find this hot, but in fact I'm watching Thlayli play with his cardboard cheese and being much more entertained by that." Although I did like the scene where Duncan phones Sean Burns and he's talking in his Dark Quickening!Duncan voice, and Sean's like, "Hello?" and Adrian Paul's face kinda drops and he says "Sean?" in this tiny, hurt voice and I was like, "Oh noes, FIGHT TEH EBIL, DUNCAN!" But then it got boring again.
froodle: (Default)
Tch, Duncan is such a jackass. I can't believe he broke up with Methos over something as petty as a handful of massacres that happened over three thousand years ago! Stupid Duncan.

Maybe it's because I was spoilt by seeing Angelus at a tender age, but Dark Quickening!Duncan and Horseman!Methos do absolutely nothing for me. With Methos, I was busy laughing at his hair and his silly mask, and Dark Quickening!Duncan is just... boring. Seriously, I'm there watching him being all snarly and attitudinal, and I'm rolling my eyes and wondering if Methos will show up soon. Even during the part where he attacks Richie, it's like part of me was thinking "I know I should find this hot, but in fact I'm watching Thlayli play with his cardboard cheese and being much more entertained by that." Although I did like the scene where Duncan phones Sean Burns and he's talking in his Dark Quickening!Duncan voice, and Sean's like, "Hello?" and Adrian Paul's face kinda drops and he says "Sean?" in this tiny, hurt voice and I was like, "Oh noes, FIGHT TEH EBIL, DUNCAN!" But then it got boring again.
froodle: (Default)
You know who could have totally kicked Isildur's ass? Angel. Think about it. Angel eclipses him in both the hand-chopping and ring-destroying arenas. And if he did fall under the lure of the Ring's eeeevvvilll powers, hey, we get Angelus. Everybody wins.

You suck, Isildur. Get in the Reject Bin.
froodle: (Default)
You know who could have totally kicked Isildur's ass? Angel. Think about it. Angel eclipses him in both the hand-chopping and ring-destroying arenas. And if he did fall under the lure of the Ring's eeeevvvilll powers, hey, we get Angelus. Everybody wins.

You suck, Isildur. Get in the Reject Bin.
froodle: (Default)
Nearing the end of season four now, and can I just say:

Angelus. Does he bring the funny or what?

"You mean killing the Beast really does bring back the sun? I thought that was just Angel's retarded fantasy." Love his gleeful face when he kills the Beast and is all "I knew it! Damn, I am so cool!" Okay, maybe he didn't say that last part, but I did, watching him.

Not to mention, being forced to relive Angel rescuing that puppy in 'Orpheus' and being laughed at by Faith; his impersonation of Angel when evil!Cordy cast the resouling that wasn't, and that whole scene where he tells Gunn that he knows what happened with Fred's old professor.

Evil!Cordy implying that Angelus is smarter than Angel amused me (poor insulted Angel!). 'Spin the Bottle' is always hilarious - gotta love 17 year old Liam ("You stopped the tiny men from singing!"), and the rerun of Cordy's classic "Hello, salty goodness" line, as well as "I never touched her, I swear!"/"So clearly, deviant!" I miss that Cordy. Plus bonus points for use of the word "homo-erotic".

Faith is as cool as ever, and Willow and Wesley's little Dark-off made me smile. Liked the whole "I'm seeing someone" bit between Willow and Fred (though as much as I hate Fred, she's infinately less annoying than Kennedy. Clearly Willow is still a little bit evil).

Also deserving of a mention is Lorne's scene with Evil!Cordy and the magic 8 ball: "Has Cordy been a bad, bad girl?"/"Definately.". Makes me laugh every time.

Skip is evil?! Oh no! Cried when Angel realised he had to kill Cordy to prevent Connor's evil doomchild from being born, despite actually knowing that it wasn't going to happen. Poor Angel. He really can't catch a break, can he?

Also, Gunn and Electro-Gwen. Didn't see that coming. Still prefer Rogue when it comes to untouchable and gorgeous women. Think it's the Southern accent.

Connor and Angel singing Manilow together = genius. The face of the guy Fred goes to see in the hospital still freaks me out. The Jasmaniacs are creepy as hell.

All in all, this season seems a lot better than I remember it being, though I still think Gunn was dead-on when he described it as a "turgid supernatural soap-opera". Could have used a few funny, light-hearted stand-alone episodes along the lines of "Dead End".

I'm going to miss Angelus's nun fixation.
froodle: (Default)
Nearing the end of season four now, and can I just say:

Angelus. Does he bring the funny or what?

"You mean killing the Beast really does bring back the sun? I thought that was just Angel's retarded fantasy." Love his gleeful face when he kills the Beast and is all "I knew it! Damn, I am so cool!" Okay, maybe he didn't say that last part, but I did, watching him.

Not to mention, being forced to relive Angel rescuing that puppy in 'Orpheus' and being laughed at by Faith; his impersonation of Angel when evil!Cordy cast the resouling that wasn't, and that whole scene where he tells Gunn that he knows what happened with Fred's old professor.

Evil!Cordy implying that Angelus is smarter than Angel amused me (poor insulted Angel!). 'Spin the Bottle' is always hilarious - gotta love 17 year old Liam ("You stopped the tiny men from singing!"), and the rerun of Cordy's classic "Hello, salty goodness" line, as well as "I never touched her, I swear!"/"So clearly, deviant!" I miss that Cordy. Plus bonus points for use of the word "homo-erotic".

Faith is as cool as ever, and Willow and Wesley's little Dark-off made me smile. Liked the whole "I'm seeing someone" bit between Willow and Fred (though as much as I hate Fred, she's infinately less annoying than Kennedy. Clearly Willow is still a little bit evil).

Also deserving of a mention is Lorne's scene with Evil!Cordy and the magic 8 ball: "Has Cordy been a bad, bad girl?"/"Definately.". Makes me laugh every time.

Skip is evil?! Oh no! Cried when Angel realised he had to kill Cordy to prevent Connor's evil doomchild from being born, despite actually knowing that it wasn't going to happen. Poor Angel. He really can't catch a break, can he?

Also, Gunn and Electro-Gwen. Didn't see that coming. Still prefer Rogue when it comes to untouchable and gorgeous women. Think it's the Southern accent.

Connor and Angel singing Manilow together = genius. The face of the guy Fred goes to see in the hospital still freaks me out. The Jasmaniacs are creepy as hell.

All in all, this season seems a lot better than I remember it being, though I still think Gunn was dead-on when he described it as a "turgid supernatural soap-opera". Could have used a few funny, light-hearted stand-alone episodes along the lines of "Dead End".

I'm going to miss Angelus's nun fixation.

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