froodle: (Default)
Line from the most recent Skulduggery Pleasant book: "We're not Buffy and Angel. We're not Romeo and Juliet. We're not even Bella and Edward."

OUCH. That has to be the one thing a vampire NEVER wants to hear from his human girlfriend. That's like, stake-through-the-heart, gotta-leave-town-because-all-the-other-vampires-are-laughing-at-you levels of insult. I bet people kicked sand in his face and created bullying "UR DOING IT WRONG" memes and posted them on his FB wall after that. And I don't advocate vampire-on-Irish-wizard violence, but I'm not totally shocked that he tried to eat her after that. He's better off dead and melted. You can't live for eternity with that level of SHAME AND FAILURE.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Dean and Lisa are basically the Buffy and Angel of a new generation. Except, if possible, MORE HEARTBREAKING because Dean didn't bring all that shit on himself by running around torturing dudes with a horrible wig and worse accent for hundred years. Oh my God I am basically CRYING FOREVER right now.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

froodle: (Default)
Writing covering letters for your CV is hard and boring. Let's talk about the Shield instead!

So, this is where I am up to:

  • the Sour Dude, who was supposed to be the main boss except everyone voted for the Bald Man because they love him best, send an Evil Blond Spy to take down the Bald Man.

  • Luckily Zito from Miami Vice warned the Bald Man that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot, so the Bald Man shot him.

  • The Bald Man's boyfriend (who is Boyd Crowder, check it out, I learnt another name!) is really upset that the Bald Man killed a guy, I guess because he doesn't know that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot or something. So Boyd is all sad and stuff, and the Bald Man is just like, "Get over it."

  • Poor Boyd Crowder can't even talk to anyone else about his Evil Blond Spy-killing angst, because the other two guys in Bald Man's Crime Army (I will call them "Tall" and "Quiet") don't know about it.

  • Sour Dude pretty much knows that the Bald Man took out the Evil Blond Spy, but he can't prove anything, so he just goes around being dead sour at the Bald Man, who is like, "Whatever."

  • Zito is also pretty mad at the Bald Man for shooting the robot, but he can't do anything because he's the Bald Man's slave or something.

  • The Girl One's partner is gay, but he doesn't want to be so he is doing that crazy Gayness Cure thing they have in America. The Girl One is like, "That's crazy and it doesn't work, haven't you seen that episode of South Park?" but I guess Gayness Cure doesn't watch South Park because he isn't listening.

  • In the meantime, CCH Pounder's friend is in love with the Girl One (she's the only girl in the show except for CCH Pounder, and so far she hasn't done anything to distinguish herself other than be a girl, so her name is the Girl One for now) but the Girl One is already having a secret affair with the Bald Man, so she's like, "Go away."

  • So CCH Pounder's friend is trying to be the Bald Man's main enemy, but he's pretty rubbish at everything except being a detective, so the Bald Man mostly just thinks he's weird and vaguely annoying. CCH Pounder is basically like, "Stop trying to be enemies with the Bald Man, you'll just end up being the Lindsey and then you'll be killed by a karoke-singing green demon and everyone will laugh at you" but her friend isn't listening so she put poo in his desk. I think if someone had cared enough to put poo in Lindsey's desk way back in season one, it would have spared him a lot of heartache later.


I think that's everything so far. I went to a show last night, but it sucked. I would rather have stayed at home and watched the adventures of the Bald Man. Probably that is what I will do tonight.
froodle: (Default)
Writing covering letters for your CV is hard and boring. Let's talk about the Shield instead!

So, this is where I am up to:

  • the Sour Dude, who was supposed to be the main boss except everyone voted for the Bald Man because they love him best, send an Evil Blond Spy to take down the Bald Man.

  • Luckily Zito from Miami Vice warned the Bald Man that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot, so the Bald Man shot him.

  • The Bald Man's boyfriend (who is Boyd Crowder, check it out, I learnt another name!) is really upset that the Bald Man killed a guy, I guess because he doesn't know that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot or something. So Boyd is all sad and stuff, and the Bald Man is just like, "Get over it."

  • Poor Boyd Crowder can't even talk to anyone else about his Evil Blond Spy-killing angst, because the other two guys in Bald Man's Crime Army (I will call them "Tall" and "Quiet") don't know about it.

  • Sour Dude pretty much knows that the Bald Man took out the Evil Blond Spy, but he can't prove anything, so he just goes around being dead sour at the Bald Man, who is like, "Whatever."

  • Zito is also pretty mad at the Bald Man for shooting the robot, but he can't do anything because he's the Bald Man's slave or something.

  • The Girl One's partner is gay, but he doesn't want to be so he is doing that crazy Gayness Cure thing they have in America. The Girl One is like, "That's crazy and it doesn't work, haven't you seen that episode of South Park?" but I guess Gayness Cure doesn't watch South Park because he isn't listening.

  • In the meantime, CCH Pounder's friend is in love with the Girl One (she's the only girl in the show except for CCH Pounder, and so far she hasn't done anything to distinguish herself other than be a girl, so her name is the Girl One for now) but the Girl One is already having a secret affair with the Bald Man, so she's like, "Go away."

  • So CCH Pounder's friend is trying to be the Bald Man's main enemy, but he's pretty rubbish at everything except being a detective, so the Bald Man mostly just thinks he's weird and vaguely annoying. CCH Pounder is basically like, "Stop trying to be enemies with the Bald Man, you'll just end up being the Lindsey and then you'll be killed by a karoke-singing green demon and everyone will laugh at you" but her friend isn't listening so she put poo in his desk. I think if someone had cared enough to put poo in Lindsey's desk way back in season one, it would have spared him a lot of heartache later.


I think that's everything so far. I went to a show last night, but it sucked. I would rather have stayed at home and watched the adventures of the Bald Man. Probably that is what I will do tonight.
froodle: (Default)
When Dexter first came out, I watched a couple of episodes, got thoroughly annoyed with the constant monologuing, and went back to watching Profit on DVD. After all, naked, eyeliner-wearing Adrian Pasdar versus Micheal C Hall in chinos isn't much of a contest.

Lately I've been watching a bit more, and it's almost... not terrible. I kind of like Rita, which considering I would happily have punched Julie Benz in the face every time she popped up on Angel, says a lot. I like that one police dude who wears a hat. The children are tolerable. I sort of ship Deb/Doakes, but I've read one of the books where Doakes has a super-horrible fate, so I'm not getting attached.

Also, beautiful James Remarr is in it being beautiful and playing Dexter's dead dad. He shows up and gives Dexter sound advice, like STOP TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH OTHER SERIAL KILLERS. Which Dexter doesn't ever seem to listen to. Right now he's friends with... dude, I don't remember his name, but he was the president on the West Wing after Bartlett. Anyway, they're little serial killing best mates and James Remarr is all like, NO DEXTER STOP TRYING TO HAVE A SERIAL KILLER BFF and Dexter is like WHATEVER JAMES REMARR YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME and now the president dude is going crazy or something, I don't know, but I guess the moral of this story is if you are a serial killer, probably you shouldn't hang out with other serial killers because it never seems to go well.


Hmm, other things... I finally started reading Ghost Story. I was totally willing to let the whole monkey-ghost thing with the lemur(e)s slide, but what really got me was the bit about being lonely in a "Byron-esque needs-a-swimming-buddy way". Since, you know, that was Shelley and all.

Also, none of these were my fault:

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket


Sadly, there is no option for putting a little key around your pony, or dressing him in a bartender outfit. I would totally have gone there otherwise.
froodle: (Default)
When Dexter first came out, I watched a couple of episodes, got thoroughly annoyed with the constant monologuing, and went back to watching Profit on DVD. After all, naked, eyeliner-wearing Adrian Pasdar versus Micheal C Hall in chinos isn't much of a contest.

Lately I've been watching a bit more, and it's almost... not terrible. I kind of like Rita, which considering I would happily have punched Julie Benz in the face every time she popped up on Angel, says a lot. I like that one police dude who wears a hat. The children are tolerable. I sort of ship Deb/Doakes, but I've read one of the books where Doakes has a super-horrible fate, so I'm not getting attached.

Also, beautiful James Remarr is in it being beautiful and playing Dexter's dead dad. He shows up and gives Dexter sound advice, like STOP TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH OTHER SERIAL KILLERS. Which Dexter doesn't ever seem to listen to. Right now he's friends with... dude, I don't remember his name, but he was the president on the West Wing after Bartlett. Anyway, they're little serial killing best mates and James Remarr is all like, NO DEXTER STOP TRYING TO HAVE A SERIAL KILLER BFF and Dexter is like WHATEVER JAMES REMARR YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME and now the president dude is going crazy or something, I don't know, but I guess the moral of this story is if you are a serial killer, probably you shouldn't hang out with other serial killers because it never seems to go well.


Hmm, other things... I finally started reading Ghost Story. I was totally willing to let the whole monkey-ghost thing with the lemur(e)s slide, but what really got me was the bit about being lonely in a "Byron-esque needs-a-swimming-buddy way". Since, you know, that was Shelley and all.

Also, none of these were my fault:

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket


Sadly, there is no option for putting a little key around your pony, or dressing him in a bartender outfit. I would totally have gone there otherwise.
froodle: (Default)
My Year In Fandom:


Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.
froodle: (Default)
My Year In Fandom:


Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Tribe and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.
froodle: (Default)
I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.
froodle: (Default)
I AM ALIVE! If you imagined me saying that in the voice of Sarah from Hocus Pocus, you are exactly right, except I am not wearing quite such a cleavage-enhancing outfit at this moment.

Long story short, back in January, I apparently made God super angry with me and as a result he punished me by giving me a new cuntface of a manager and a hideous Bernard Manning/Sloth/Cave Troll hybrid agent in the same week, and then my laptop broke a little bit but I was already really tense and impatient so I Hulksmashed it into a wall and then it was somewhat more than a little bit broken and by then I had become addicted to freebase crack in order to deal with Cuntrag and Bernard so all my spare money went on that rather than getting a new laptop BUT! Now I have a new manager and a team of mostly-humans and so I have cleaned myself up and YAY INTARNETS!

By the way, some of that last paragraph was totally a lie, but unfortunately the bit about a coworker who resembles the lovechild of Bernard Manning, Sloth and the Cave Troll from the first Lord of the Rings movie is factually accurate. I didn't actually become a junkie, but only because I don't know where to get drugs from.

ANYWAY! Oh my God dudes, I just watched the last season of Heroes and it almost half-way did not suck. I estimate that I was not actively annoyed for at least 60% of the time. Also, Sylar would be fine if he just concentrated on being bitchy instead of trying and failing to be a badass killer dude. Adam Monroe completely needs to be some kind of crime-fightin' lawyer guy with an insane hatred of Quantum Leap. I would totally watch that. Maybe he can joined Major Lorne in the world of "Bones crossovers that are not real but totally should be". I think an Adam Monroe/Hodgins snark-off would make the world a million times better.

Hmm, what else... oh, the Vampire Diaries is pretty lame. Stern Hot History Teacher (formerly known as The Guy From Tigerland That Isn't Colin Farrell) is hot and stern, and Damon is fun in a super low-budget version of Angelus kind of way. Everyone else is retarded though.

I have not seen the Lost Boys 3 yet - I bet it is beautiful though. Nobody tell me different, okay? Also, Colin Farrell is going to be a vampire in a Fright Night remake next year and his enemy is going to be Jailbait Checkov from the new Star Trek movie - that does not seem like a fair fight to me. It's like pitting Micheal Jackson against Darth Vader.

That's pretty much it - as you can all see, I didn't go away and develop any kind of life while I was interwebsless. In fact, I pretty much just watched more TV and movies and thought about what kind of TV and movies I would like to see in the future. In case you were wondering, they still mostly involve Daddy Winchester, Colin Farrell, or werewolves. Or some combination thereof.

Oh, except also now I want a show in which Shatner and Tori Spelling fight crime in space, and The Dave is the main villian. Every episode will either end with Shatner waving his fists in the air and yelling "THE DAAAAAAAVEEEEE!" or a close-up shot of The Dave's evilly shifting eyes with an ominous music track playing in the background. I haven't put any werewolves or Daddy Winchesters in there yet. I don't think Daddy Winchester and The Dave would approve of each other. I just feel it in my soul.
froodle: (Default)
Oh man, you guys, I have just had my best idea ever! Having finally succumbed to my own suckiness, I have purchased the alledgedly "ultimate" edition of Alexander, and was disappointed to discover it contained no Colin Farrel/Jared Leto sex scenes, no dinosaurs, no lasers and no car chases. I mean, can you really call anything an "ultimate" version of something if there aren't even any car chases? Shame on you, Oliver Stone.

Anyway, while pondering the injustice of misleading Hollywood reissues, I sulked my way through an extra twenty minutes of Jared Leto and Colin Farrel not getting it on, and at last Ye Olde Anthony Hopkins appeared to tell me my pain was at an end, as signalled by a shot of a statue that looks nothing like The Colin. I sigh a sigh of bitterest disappointment while Anthony Hopkins and his beard witter on about "the greatest man I ever knew," blahblahblah historical boringcakes, and then I hear the words, "Mecha Alexandros".

And that's when it hit me. The key to a successful retelling of the Alexander legend is to set it in SPACE! Instead of Macedonian sheep herders, Alexander will be descended from the inventors of the first Mecha capable of space flight, but the evil Persian empire has long since co-opted the technology for their own nefarious purposes. Led by the dread king D3r1u5, the Persian empire assassinate King Phillip in a bid to subvert intergalactic patent laws relating to their new mechanical army. However, they have reckoned without the bravery of the young Prince Alexander and his snake-charming MILF, Queen Olympias.

Buccephelus will be Alexanders' fighter craft, who talks, and Nearchus will be a flamboyantly gay space pirate who is never seen without a bottle of mineral water in hand and insists on referring to Alexander and "Alexander the Fabulous". Hephaestion will take over the traditional "bitchy queen" role and largely be based on Cordelia Chase.

Obviously it would be super-awesome if we can get Jared Leto and Colin Farrel back, but on the offchance that they want nothing to do with this thing of beauty, I already have the new cast in line: Nick Stahl will play the role of Alexander, with Sean Maher playing Hephaestion. Christian Slater will be Philip, Cynthia Ettinger will be Olympias and the role of Nearchus will be ably filled by Zachary Quinto. IT CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG!
froodle: (Default)
Oh man, you guys, I have just had my best idea ever! Having finally succumbed to my own suckiness, I have purchased the alledgedly "ultimate" edition of Alexander, and was disappointed to discover it contained no Colin Farrel/Jared Leto sex scenes, no dinosaurs, no lasers and no car chases. I mean, can you really call anything an "ultimate" version of something if there aren't even any car chases? Shame on you, Oliver Stone.

Anyway, while pondering the injustice of misleading Hollywood reissues, I sulked my way through an extra twenty minutes of Jared Leto and Colin Farrel not getting it on, and at last Ye Olde Anthony Hopkins appeared to tell me my pain was at an end, as signalled by a shot of a statue that looks nothing like The Colin. I sigh a sigh of bitterest disappointment while Anthony Hopkins and his beard witter on about "the greatest man I ever knew," blahblahblah historical boringcakes, and then I hear the words, "Mecha Alexandros".

And that's when it hit me. The key to a successful retelling of the Alexander legend is to set it in SPACE! Instead of Macedonian sheep herders, Alexander will be descended from the inventors of the first Mecha capable of space flight, but the evil Persian empire has long since co-opted the technology for their own nefarious purposes. Led by the dread king D3r1u5, the Persian empire assassinate King Phillip in a bid to subvert intergalactic patent laws relating to their new mechanical army. However, they have reckoned without the bravery of the young Prince Alexander and his snake-charming MILF, Queen Olympias.

Buccephelus will be Alexanders' fighter craft, who talks, and Nearchus will be a flamboyantly gay space pirate who is never seen without a bottle of mineral water in hand and insists on referring to Alexander and "Alexander the Fabulous". Hephaestion will take over the traditional "bitchy queen" role and largely be based on Cordelia Chase.

Obviously it would be super-awesome if we can get Jared Leto and Colin Farrel back, but on the offchance that they want nothing to do with this thing of beauty, I already have the new cast in line: Nick Stahl will play the role of Alexander, with Sean Maher playing Hephaestion. Christian Slater will be Philip, Cynthia Ettinger will be Olympias and the role of Nearchus will be ably filled by Zachary Quinto. IT CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG!
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, I just saw the last episode of the Tribe and really, how fucking stupid do you have to be not to realise that an AI with the combined personalities of a dead sociopath and a live megalomaniac is going to wind up going SkyNet all over the place? What an idiot!

Man, I so want a Zoot AI of my own now. Especially if I could put it on the PCs at work and have it smile creepily every time someone tried to ask me an inane question. Which would actually be all the time. Maybe if someone asked me a non-retarded question, he'd Vogue.

And now, meme answers!

Scheherezhad wanted to know my top five Eerie moments:

1: The scene in the Hole in the Head Gang where Simon and Mars see the fake ghost head for the first time, and Mars is like ARRRRRGGGHHHH-*takes picture*-AARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
2: The scene in Scariest Home Movies where Harley steps on the female leads' dress and it rips and you see her knickers and then he turns and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the audience - is there anything funnier than a pervy six year old?
3: The scene in Who's Who where Simon tells Sarah Sue-Bob that she should try telling her family how she feels, and Sarah Sue-Bob says that she hopes "this isn't some New Age peaceful thing that will backfire on me," and then it does!
4: Dash and Mars' almost-kiss in the alley behind the Loyal Order of Corn. Yes it was, shut the fuck up.
5: The Foreverware Wave.

Chibimarchy wanted to know my top five canon or fanom pairings from any fandom:

Canon pairings:
1: Buffy and Angel (BtVS/Angel) I swear, I will be like sixty and watching it on the DVD player surgically grafted onto my face as I zoom around the Moon Station with my personal jetpack, and I will still be crying over that scene at the end of season three where he shows up to take her to the prom. And then I'll probably crash into a satellite because I can't see where I'm going through the tears.
2: Van and Hitomi (Escaflowne) Even though in the end Hitomi chose indoor plumbing and electricty over young love and an early death from cholera due to Fanelia's appalling lack of infrastructure, I got a bit choked up during that scene where she decides to go back to him and as she's running on the track, he appears on the Escaflowne in a pillar of light and he's about to speak and she just throws herself into his arms. Having said that, I also quite liked the scene in Operation: Golden Rule of Love where he was trying to tell her how he felt and he ended up saying he wanted her powers instead and she bitchslapped him.
3: Rita Sue and Jonesy (Carnivale) That first time, where she takes off his brace, was so bitter-sweet and beautiful, and afterwards they were so hot and heavy together, the way they couldn't keep their hands off each other - Rita Sue is so jaded and worldly when it comes to sex and love and marriage, so having her fall for Jonesy that hard made it all the more meaningful. And of course all the more heartbreaking when he broke it off.
4: Jack and Ellie (the Tribe) I just think they're adorable together - like when he renames their newspaper the Amulet and she says he's beautiful, or the conversation with the walkie-talkies where neither of them want to hang up - and that scene where you find out that it's Ellie sending Ebony all the death threats, because she blames her forJack being taken, and Ebony gets her trademark sass on and Ellie just lunges for her and Ebony's like OMGWTF and even Techno Ranger almost manages an expression.
5: Lucas and Selina (American Gothic) Because... because they're Lucas and Selina, come on, like I even have to explain that!

Fanon pairings:
1: Jordan/Shawn (4400) Because the debauching of underage boys by morally ambiguous, totally hot, beard-having Messiah figures is awesome.
2: Bray/Lex (the Tribe) Because alpha-male power struggles are also awesome, especially if one party habitually wears a lot of leather and eyeliner, and especially-specially if it tends to devolve into homoerotic wrestling matches.
3: Scipio/Prosper (the Thief Lord) Because underage boylove in Venice? Yes, that too is awesome.
4: Mars/Dash (Eerie Indiana) As above, but in Indiana.
5: Colby/Charlie (Numb3rs) Because... dude, look at them! That's why!

itsjustc wanted to know my top five Tribe characters:

1: Jack
2: Lex
3: KC
4: Ebony
5: Bray
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, I just saw the last episode of the Tribe and really, how fucking stupid do you have to be not to realise that an AI with the combined personalities of a dead sociopath and a live megalomaniac is going to wind up going SkyNet all over the place? What an idiot!

Man, I so want a Zoot AI of my own now. Especially if I could put it on the PCs at work and have it smile creepily every time someone tried to ask me an inane question. Which would actually be all the time. Maybe if someone asked me a non-retarded question, he'd Vogue.

And now, meme answers!

Scheherezhad wanted to know my top five Eerie moments:

1: The scene in the Hole in the Head Gang where Simon and Mars see the fake ghost head for the first time, and Mars is like ARRRRRGGGHHHH-*takes picture*-AARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
2: The scene in Scariest Home Movies where Harley steps on the female leads' dress and it rips and you see her knickers and then he turns and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the audience - is there anything funnier than a pervy six year old?
3: The scene in Who's Who where Simon tells Sarah Sue-Bob that she should try telling her family how she feels, and Sarah Sue-Bob says that she hopes "this isn't some New Age peaceful thing that will backfire on me," and then it does!
4: Dash and Mars' almost-kiss in the alley behind the Loyal Order of Corn. Yes it was, shut the fuck up.
5: The Foreverware Wave.

Chibimarchy wanted to know my top five canon or fanom pairings from any fandom:

Canon pairings:
1: Buffy and Angel (BtVS/Angel) I swear, I will be like sixty and watching it on the DVD player surgically grafted onto my face as I zoom around the Moon Station with my personal jetpack, and I will still be crying over that scene at the end of season three where he shows up to take her to the prom. And then I'll probably crash into a satellite because I can't see where I'm going through the tears.
2: Van and Hitomi (Escaflowne) Even though in the end Hitomi chose indoor plumbing and electricty over young love and an early death from cholera due to Fanelia's appalling lack of infrastructure, I got a bit choked up during that scene where she decides to go back to him and as she's running on the track, he appears on the Escaflowne in a pillar of light and he's about to speak and she just throws herself into his arms. Having said that, I also quite liked the scene in Operation: Golden Rule of Love where he was trying to tell her how he felt and he ended up saying he wanted her powers instead and she bitchslapped him.
3: Rita Sue and Jonesy (Carnivale) That first time, where she takes off his brace, was so bitter-sweet and beautiful, and afterwards they were so hot and heavy together, the way they couldn't keep their hands off each other - Rita Sue is so jaded and worldly when it comes to sex and love and marriage, so having her fall for Jonesy that hard made it all the more meaningful. And of course all the more heartbreaking when he broke it off.
4: Jack and Ellie (the Tribe) I just think they're adorable together - like when he renames their newspaper the Amulet and she says he's beautiful, or the conversation with the walkie-talkies where neither of them want to hang up - and that scene where you find out that it's Ellie sending Ebony all the death threats, because she blames her forJack being taken, and Ebony gets her trademark sass on and Ellie just lunges for her and Ebony's like OMGWTF and even Techno Ranger almost manages an expression.
5: Lucas and Selina (American Gothic) Because... because they're Lucas and Selina, come on, like I even have to explain that!

Fanon pairings:
1: Jordan/Shawn (4400) Because the debauching of underage boys by morally ambiguous, totally hot, beard-having Messiah figures is awesome.
2: Bray/Lex (the Tribe) Because alpha-male power struggles are also awesome, especially if one party habitually wears a lot of leather and eyeliner, and especially-specially if it tends to devolve into homoerotic wrestling matches.
3: Scipio/Prosper (the Thief Lord) Because underage boylove in Venice? Yes, that too is awesome.
4: Mars/Dash (Eerie Indiana) As above, but in Indiana.
5: Colby/Charlie (Numb3rs) Because... dude, look at them! That's why!

itsjustc wanted to know my top five Tribe characters:

1: Jack
2: Lex
3: KC
4: Ebony
5: Bray
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, I would just like to point out that if there was some kind of big vampire convention and all the fictional vampires got invited, Edward Cullen would not be allowed to sit at the Awesome Table. In fact, he wouldn't even get a table. He would have to sit huddled in the corner where the rising damp is, with the other rejects like Mick from Moonlight and Henry from Blood Ties. And all the vampires at the Awesome Table like Angelus and Eric and David would laugh at them and make mocking and hurtful remarks and possibly throw things.
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, I would just like to point out that if there was some kind of big vampire convention and all the fictional vampires got invited, Edward Cullen would not be allowed to sit at the Awesome Table. In fact, he wouldn't even get a table. He would have to sit huddled in the corner where the rising damp is, with the other rejects like Mick from Moonlight and Henry from Blood Ties. And all the vampires at the Awesome Table like Angelus and Eric and David would laugh at them and make mocking and hurtful remarks and possibly throw things.
froodle: (Default)
GAYEST NINJAS EVER! Oh my fucking God, why is there not more Being Human? Like, right now. I need it! I'm trying to watch Mad Men and I can't even lust after YoSaffBridge properly because I'm getting cranky that there is no flaily werewolf action. Jon Hamm would be an awesome werewolf, but he wouldn't flail. Probably. He'd just be morose and sad and then randomly fucking punch you in your face!

Also on the subject of Mad Men, I am so glad Brickhead gave her baby away. Can you imagine how ugly the child of her and Connor would be? Seriously. It would in fact be Sloth. Gross.

Dude. Don. Quit looking into your drink all sad-like and do some flailing. Your handsome face no longer pleases me.
froodle: (Default)
GAYEST NINJAS EVER! Oh my fucking God, why is there not more Being Human? Like, right now. I need it! I'm trying to watch Mad Men and I can't even lust after YoSaffBridge properly because I'm getting cranky that there is no flaily werewolf action. Jon Hamm would be an awesome werewolf, but he wouldn't flail. Probably. He'd just be morose and sad and then randomly fucking punch you in your face!

Also on the subject of Mad Men, I am so glad Brickhead gave her baby away. Can you imagine how ugly the child of her and Connor would be? Seriously. It would in fact be Sloth. Gross.

Dude. Don. Quit looking into your drink all sad-like and do some flailing. Your handsome face no longer pleases me.
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, Being Human is completely awesome. The show, I mean, not actually being human, because as I have said previously, that's actually a bit rub. But anyway, oh my God, George! I love him! He is my favouritest werewolf of all the werewolves throughout the recorded history of time! He's so shrill and flaily and random.

Annie and Mitchell are also good. Evil Fiance Owen is good in the sense that he is horrifying and evil. Herrick is not good, because he's like a poor mans' Holland Manners, who in turn was a bargain basement version of the Mayor. But mostly GEORGE! Oh, he is so wonderful. I hope it runs for millions of years and I never get bored or snarky about it and they never introduce lame plots where, FOR EXAMPLE, Lauren turns up with Mitchell's baby whose arrival was foretold by prophecy and who has the power to RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW EVER AND GENERALLY WHINE AND HAVE A STUPID FUCKING FACE.

Oh God Vincent Kartheiser, I fucking hate you.
froodle: (Default)
Dudes, Being Human is completely awesome. The show, I mean, not actually being human, because as I have said previously, that's actually a bit rub. But anyway, oh my God, George! I love him! He is my favouritest werewolf of all the werewolves throughout the recorded history of time! He's so shrill and flaily and random.

Annie and Mitchell are also good. Evil Fiance Owen is good in the sense that he is horrifying and evil. Herrick is not good, because he's like a poor mans' Holland Manners, who in turn was a bargain basement version of the Mayor. But mostly GEORGE! Oh, he is so wonderful. I hope it runs for millions of years and I never get bored or snarky about it and they never introduce lame plots where, FOR EXAMPLE, Lauren turns up with Mitchell's baby whose arrival was foretold by prophecy and who has the power to RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW EVER AND GENERALLY WHINE AND HAVE A STUPID FUCKING FACE.

Oh God Vincent Kartheiser, I fucking hate you.

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